A DISGUSTING VEGETABLE FOR PURITANICAL TYPES

On my way home I saw 'Secret Cigarette Smoking Auntie' leave her building with a young fellow who may be a grandson. She did not light up, so I assume that he doesn't know about her hidden vice. And I hope that he never finds out; old people need something to keep them occupied, and the young nowadays are more prone than ever to righteously disapprove. Which is why it's probably a good thing that I never had children. They'd be of an age now that they'd probably be embarassed by my behaviour, mortified by the stuff that comes out of my mouth, and disapprove mightily of my fun things. As would their entire peer-group.
And any relatives they might have other than myself.


"Please stop smoking, Uncle Farty, and lay off the meat. Vegetables are much more spiritual. And have a carrot instead of tobacco!"


Can't stand carrots. I'm not a horse. Go piss up a rope, young man.

From Wikipedia: "Carrots benefit from strongly scented companion plants. The pungent odour of onions, leeks and chives help repel the carrot root fly, and other vegetables that team well with carrots include lettuce, tomatoes and radishes, as well as the herbs rosemary and sage. Carrots thrive in the presence of caraway, coriander, chamomile, marigold and Swan River daisy. They can also be good companions for other plants; if left to flower, the carrot, like any umbellifer, attracts predatory wasps that kill many garden pests."

Good companions? Hah! They teach them card games and how to drink.
Then they encourage them to bet on the horses!

I can't say that I'm a fan.

We Dutch invented the common orange carrot, because we have issues.

In any case, I do hope that 'Secret Cigarette Smoking Auntie' ditches her young kinsman long enough to catch a puff. Maybe she can outrun him.
Otherwise it's probably carrots.



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