Friday, February 27, 2009


Yesterday evening I came home to discover Savage Kitten flaked out exhausted in bed.
She was pale and wan, and too tired to even eat (and being Cantonese-American she pretty much LIVES to feed - seeing her fiercely hunt down helpless comestibles is a sight to behold).
No, not a cold, nor flue. Not even the monthly .... errm, you know. Instead, something far better. She gave blood yesterday.
[Please note: the 'monthly .... errm you know' is pictured as a large porcupine wearing granny-glasses and native-bead necklaces who does a fearsome rhumba. I just thought you should know this. She visits us every .... errm, month. Yes.]

Giving blood is a fine thing, entirely a commendable practice. It is one of the best things you can do, and you should make it a practice to do it regularly.

Just never gonna do it myself. I'll leave it up to you.
I got a needle-phobia going on.

The last time a medical person drew blood out of my arm, I took one look at the hypodermic slowly filling with warm pulsating blood and went into shock.

- - - - - - -

Now, where was I? Oh yes, warm crimson fluid filling up a glass tube ......

- - - - - - -

Please understand that it isn't the blood. I have no problem with blood. Seeing the back of the driver's head explode from a sniper bullet in Mindanao was not a problem, and attending a boucherie is always fun - especially if they cook the odd parts. Horrid accidents absolutely fascinate me.
I would not object at all if they allowed me to donate blood by gashing myself fiercely. But needles, are, well, an issue.

One of my earliest memories is being chased around a doctor's office by an ogre in a white lab coat intent on giving me a wholly unnecessary flue-shot. This memory got relived and refreshed every year for fifteen years until I finally had the stones to rebel against egregious needling.
[And then promptly spent three weeks having the worst flue ever - that entire holiday season is a solid blur of buckets, shaking fevers, and hallucinations.]

In my youth it seemed like the solution for every conceivable medical issue involved a sadist, reeking of antiseptic, in a white lab coat, holding an instrument of punctuation. That drop of fluid expressed from the tip in preparation of the inevitable jab is enough to .......

- - - - - - -

There is a small bright side to the needle-phobia, though. I am entirely unlikely to ever become addicted to injectable substances. Even the mere idea of swabbing an area near a vein, boiling a solution in a spoon, tying off the arm, and sticking a shiny sterilized needle ........

- - - - - - -

Yes, the thought of doing something like that is entirely unappealing. And heck will freeze over before I even come close to it. Needles disconcert me that much. Because of that phobia, heroin will never be part of the programme.
But this is not as comforting as you would think.
You see, it wouldn't be possible EVEN IF I didn't have the nee ... nee ... nee ...

- - - - - - -

Why is the n-phobia not the main reason for avoiding poppy derivatives?

Because opiates send me into shock. The last time I had a root canal (2002), the dentist prescribed painkillers for when the novocaine wore off. So I took one (just one!) before leaving the house that evening. And then spent over an hour sitting on the cold pavement with sweat pouring from every pore, ready to pass out.

There were thirty pills in that bottle when I got it - there are twenty nine of them left. The expiry date was five years ago.

I now carry a card in my wallet that instructs emergency personal to under no circumstances give me any codeine, penicillin-type anti-biotics, or raw bananas.

Anyhow, it is both good and noble to donate blood. I thoroughly encourage your doing so.

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Coworkers know that I am not the most patient man in the world. My forbearance is at a particularly low-ebb early in the morning, when still grumbly and bleary-eyed I stumble in to the office to listen to my voice-mails and swear under my breath.

This is NOT an aspect of my loveable personality that Savage Kitten is familiar with. From the moment I wake up till when I leave the house I have a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye. I am sparkling, cheerful, and good natured.
The pretence is draining.

At the office, however, I revert to my instinctual pattern of morning behaviour.
It's called rabies.

Yesterday morning, while attempting to listen to my messages, I was subjected to a massive flood of inane chatter coming from the other side of the wall. That is where the blondes live.
It was a pulsating high pitched squeal-drone of several voices speaking of their wonderful personal experiences while shopping and eating and shopping and visiting friends and shopping and going to movies and shopping and having dinner and shopping and boys and shopping and chocolate and shopping and handbags and shopping and coffee and shopping and file folders and shopping and clothes and shopping and fabulous jewelry and shopping and make-up and shopping and last night's television show and shopping ....... !

Sweet pickles, ladies, but you lead dreadful lives! Why are you sharing the details? Are you trying to make the rest of us miserable as well?

Have you ever thought of shutting up? For the good of mankind?

Do I need to zap you-uns with a tazer?

I am ever so grateful that Savage Kitten is not blonde. I do not think I could maintain my gracious mask of gentle wonderfulness in the morning if she were.
I am also very glad that she does not visit me at the office. She would probably take one look at the blondes, and decide to poke them with a sharp stick. Or worse.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


Now is a good time to remember the people of the past. I don't know why, it just feels that way.
My mother died in 1977 in springtime, a few days before her birthday. She had been sick for seven years, and we had seen her fade from able-bodied and mobile to substantially non-ambulatory, though up till a few days before her death, still vibrantly alive, and alive with stubbornness.

For long after she passed away the evidence of her life still surrounded us. Her vast book collection, in every room of the house. Her objets d'art. Her antique Bohemian crystal. Her Waterford. And the collection of exceptional teacups and saucers.

Her tastes in colours, textures, and literature, had been bold. It was from her that I learned to read Beowulf in Old-English, Gretir's Saga in Old-Norse. Both of those languages are a bit beyond me now, but I can still hack my way through the Green Knight and several other oddities.

The collection of teacups and saucers lived on the tea trolley in the dining room, in the corner. The dining room was my brother's realm (we never actually ate there). His chess books lined the walls, his Dickens and Proust were on the table. Odds and ends which fascinated him were on the mantelpiece. We did not enter save by his leave.
But the tea-trolley was hers. And the teacups and saucers breathed age, grace, a style of living.

I had my own favourite tea cup and saucer in the sera, where I often sat until deep at night reading and smoking. It was not antique, and not even very nice, being a rather pedestrian blue and white pattern mass-produced in kilns from Yokohama to Tierra del Fuego. But it was bowl-like, deep and broad, and showed off the green-amber glow of jasmine tea nicely, cooling it down to drinkability in moments. My teacup. In imitation of hers.

In retrospect, I spent the better part of my adolescence zipped to the gills on caffeine. Whacked out of my mind. No wonder my classmates did not consider me sane, I bounced from the walls and gibbered. But caffeine is a drug that blesses the addict. Just as Doctor Johnson stayed up till all hours while off his rocker on tea, so likewise did I explore science fiction, English and Dutch poetry, Kipling, Maugham, Nabokov, mediaeval history, and everything I could lay my hands on that spoke of Afghanistan, Samarkand, India, South East Asia, and China, till far far past midnight.
I learned much of the world, and absorbed entire empires. Tea and books - boruch Hashem.

That summer I moved my reading and tea-drinking out to the patio. When it rained one could sit under the broad corrugated overhang and enjoy the cooling humidity. My pipe smoke would curl back and into the house through the French doors, and eventually my brother might come out and join me, or merely move from the dining room into the sera, where in silence he moved the pieces across the board, pondered, leafed through his book. We did not speak much. We really had less in common at night than during the day, though both of us were night people.

He hated my pipe, and thought the jasmine tea an affectation (which it was).
I did not obsess over chess (a failing, I admit), and preferred devouring the printed page at great speed, rather than dawdling over it at length as he did.
He would sit for hours in the stillness and in thought.
Click. Hmmm. Click - another move. A rustle of paper as he read the analysis of the game. Long pause, click again.

In the silence of the night, when the conditions are right - dry Latakia tobacco, humidity in the air, and a certain light - I can still hear the clack of chess pieces, hear the flick of one page, as he reviews the games of the masters.

Tobias passed away in 1992. And I miss him.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


I am delighted to see that Grant Patel, long both a bane and a blessing to this and other blogs, has decided to open his own site for business.

His personal scribblings can be inspected here:

The selection offered thus far is eclectic, to say the least.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Twisting your Arab knickers!
Arab female underwear.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Jimmy Boy in Horniman, Fort
A Parsee restaurant in Bombay.

Friday, February 20, 2009
Dutch news, or Palestinian Propaganda?
Well, I moved him to post this....
If its' berry pullao, it must be Britania!
Parsee food at the Britania.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Mumbai Terrorists
Hah! Damned Pakis! - A rant.

Monday, February 16, 2009
She got lace!
An exercise in obsession, in which mr. Patel waxes lyrical about miss Wong's underwear (sorry, Snooky), and demands details which miss Wong refuses to give him.

There is more. Explore at your own risk.
He claims he is unmedicated - And I believe him.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Last week, protesting soccer hooligans in Rotterdam screamed obscenities and insults at burgomaster Ahmed Aboutaleb.
Among other things, they called the honourable Ahmed Aboutaleb a "Filthy Jew" ('vuile Jood'), and chanted 'Hamas, Hamas, all Joden aan het gas' (Hamas, Hamas, all the Jews to the gas). They also offered to gas the aforementioned "Filthy Jew".

This pursuant a decision by the burgomasters of Rotterdam (Ahmed Aboutaleb) and Amsterdam (Job Cohen) to limit fan-attendance at matches between Feyenoord (the Rotterdam soccer team) and Ajax (the Amsterdam soccer team) for the next five years, due to violence and misbehaviour at such matches - the rivalry between Feyenoord and Ajax is representative of the cultural superiority of Amsterdam ('good') versus the depravity and criminal tendencies of Rotterdammers ('evil'), and soccer matches are, more than just symbolically, wars. It is a complex situation with many layers.

Two articles in Dutch from the Algemeen Dagblad:
Quote: Circa tweehonderd demonstranten trokken het drukke centrum van de stad in en liepen dreigend tussen winkelend publiek door. Ze scandeerden leuzen en er zouden vernielingen zijn aangericht.
[Around two hundred demonstrators marched through the busy centre of the city and mingled threateningly with the shopping public. They chanted slogans, and there was vandalism.]
Quote: De Feyenoord-hooligans die de Rotterdamse burgemeester Ahmed Aboutaleb dit weekend in de binnenstad uitmaakten voor ‘vuile Jood’ en scandeerden dat hij ‘aan het gas moet’, gaan vrijuit.
[The Feyenoord hooligans who called Rotterdam burgomaster Ahmed Aboutaleb a "Filty Jew" this past weekend and chanted that he should be gassed will not be prosecuted.]

I should probably mention that the nickname of Ajax is "de Jooduh'' ('da Jooz'). That has some bearing on this.
Mr. Ahmed Aboutaleb (the aforementioned "Filthy Jew"), is the son of a Moroccan Imam. Which seems beside the point, but is nevertheless a relevant detail.
The gentlemen who so helpfully offered to chuck him into a gas chamber are mostly Moroccan Dutch - many of the Moroccans in Rotterdam are fanatical supporters of their soccer club.

The Moroccan-Dutch supporters of Feyenoord are furious over the tendency of Ajax supporters in Amsterdam to beat the living daylights out of them whenever they scream anti-Jewish obscenities or burn an Israeli flag in a public place while visiting. The Israeli flag is the guerilla banner of the Ajax fans, waved from the stands whenever Ajax is playing, especially at Ajax-Feyenoord games. The primary purpose of waving the Israeli flag is to irritate the spit out of the Feyenoord supporters on the other side. Who hop up and down red-faced and gibbering whenever this is done.

Many of the Ajax supporters are also Moroccan-Dutch. Who thoroughly enjoy the apoplexy they have thus given their cousins from a city the name of which no true Amsterdammer will even admit knowing ("Rotterdam" - it's probably some German word that means garbage or prostitute or something like that, totally unimportant").

Amsterdam is probably the only town in the universe where an anti-Semite burning an Israeli flag may have the crap kicked out of him by angry Arab teenagers.

Friday, February 20, 2009


During operation Cast Lead, the Dutch state-sponsored news organization featured reportage from Sander van Hoorn in Israel.
It turns out that Sander van der Hoorn had a jaundiced view - one that largely accorded with the anti-Israel bias of his organization.

[The Dutch state sponsored news organization is the NOS - Nederlandse Omroep Stichting (Dutch broadcast foundation).]

This blogger has already fulminated about the BBC, the Guardian, Volkskrant, Telegraaf and the Algemeen Dagblad as examples of press engaging in propaganda, and you have possibly already visited 'bad news from the Netherlands '( for an interesting perspective on informing the public. Generally speaking, news slants towards a point-of-view that supports the praeconceptions of the news-organization. Many European news orgs are sodden with Israel haters. The British are particularly notorious in that regard, but the Dutch are certainly no slouches, and probably surpass them.

[I will confess that I am not the person to judge whether the Dutch are in fact worse than the British - I am by no means unbiased, and sometimes the Dutch fairly nauseate me. Having read their pestilential news rags for four decades, I cannot be equitable and balanced about Dutch journalism or its readers. There are times that I wish the sea would erase that smarmy little earthblob off the map. It takes effort to remember that there are decent Dutchmen. Many decent Dutchmen, but nevertheless monumental effort. I rather like the British, though.]

Sander van Hoorn and his editors decided that the Dutch viewers did not need impartial and independent news, but required slant, bias, propaganda, and fuel for hatred of Israel. To that end, they engaged in a pattern of omission, distortion and manipulation.

An English language précis of a report detailing what they did can be found here:

You may read the Dutch language original here:

The combination of Dutch newspapers and Dutch broadcasting, deliberately massaging the news about Israel, may explain why Dutch anti-Semitism thrives as never before. Those who rely on Dutch newssources are mal-educated and mis-informed. And frequently vicious.

The Algemeen Dagblad and the Telegraaf have ever been neck-and-neck for the title of 'Worst Newspaper of the First World'. But the NOS may well have no competition for the Most Biased Broadcaster prize.
Dutch journalism has seldom been so diseased, and the public so ill-served.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


Recently an anonymous reader discovered a post I wrote a back in November, in which I defended Zionists and pro-Israeli activists on the Berkeley campus. As is widely known, the campus of the University of California at Berkeley is one of the most Jew-hating environments on the planet, coddling racists and bigots flying under "cause of the day" colours.
University officials, while aware of the problem, and happy to take money from donors on both the Jewish and Arab sides of the fence, gently close their eyes and pretend that all is well.

The posting was this one:
It is dated 11/14/2008.

The anonymous commenter who discovered it shortly after ten o'clock yesterday evening wrote:
"I don't understand Zionists' claim to a land that was already inhabited by other people. We live in a modern era. Why should Americans support an apartheid state because it believes that religious texts have 'granted' a single people the right to establish a racially defined state to the exclusion of the residents who were living there throughout the 19th and 20th centuries when Jesiwh immigrants were being imported from Europe. While the Holocaust is a horrendous legacy, how does the Jewish state honor the memory of those who were killed by Nazi Germany by perpetrating similar acts of exclusion and oppression? I really don't understand the Zionist mentality...Also, many Jews are anti-Zionist."

I have responded to his query in the comment string, but as the tropes he trumpets are common, it may serve some useful purpose to deal with them in a new post.

I don't understand Zionists' claim to a land that was already inhabited by other people.

There were always Jews living there among the other people. The other people came in with conquerors over the centuries. Jews, however, have ALWAYS lived there. Furthermore, the Zionist purchased land - and developed the barren areas which they bought. It was the economic development of those lands that drew in even more people.
Also, the Jewish quarters of Jerusalem and Hebron, as well as other places inside the land, were ethnically cleansed by Arab mobs in the twenties and thirties - how do you justify Arabs even daring to claim those areas?

Why should Americans support an apartheid state

America does not support an Apartheid state - Israeli Arabs have the right to vote, to own property, and to participate at all levels in Israeli society. And there are Arabs in the ranks of most political parties and all ministries. There are also Arab parties in the Knesset. There are jobs and stations where having served in the IDF give you a much greater entry - Arabs are free to join the IDF. Druze Arabs and many Bedouin do serve in the military (and note that there are Knesset speakers, ministers, officers, and department heads from the Arab Israeli side). All who stayed in 1948 became citizens.

The distinction is with the population in the territories - who are not citizens, and do not wish to be citizens, of a praedominantly Jewish state. They have their own institutions, which are overwhelmingly Judenrein - this despite there having been Jewish populations in both the West Bank and Gaza (that latter population ethnically cleansed several times, the last time during the British period) which date back to the pre-Roman period. Obviously, a population which will not become citizens, and is not even desirous of that - which in fact is acknowledged by all sides as heading towards eventual statehood of its own - cannot be administered in the same way as citizens. They are administered under British Mandate codes and Ottoman law. As they were when the Jordanians ruled over them, and as they were after Egypt had seized Gaza. The laws in those areas are a confusing and oppressive welter, due to it being illegal to change them until locally valid representative bodies do so.

Apartheid state ....

Like Saudi Arabia, Malaysia, Japan, Germany, and several others which have nationality laws based on racial and religious exclusionism, coupled with a large number of 'guest-workers' who are treated worse than animals?

But Israel treats its guest-workers and resident aliens far better. So, NOT like the countries just mentioned.

Do you wish to talk about Mexican dishwashers and lettuce pickers? How about Turks who have been three generations in Northern Europe, and are still "foreigners"? Chinese and Indians in Malaysia who have been there for centuries and are discriminated against?
Koreans in Japan? Indians and Pakistanis in the Gulf?

[02/20/2009: Adding Italy to the list above. Per Italian law, children born to foreigners do not automatically receive citizenship, some are left in limbo. This particularly applies to Gypsies and Eastern Europeans. ]

because it believes that religious texts have 'granted' a single people the right to establish a racially defined state to the exclusion of the residents who were living there throughout the 19th and 20th centuries when Jewish immigrants were being imported from Europe.

Zionism is not based on the Bible but on that land being the historic homeland of the Jewish people - even the Romans admitted precisely that.
As did the Arabs - in the Quran, during the various Caliphates, under the Ottomans, and even in the 1920s when the Arabs were becoming nations. Kings Abdullah (assassinated by a Palestinian in Jerusalem) and Hussein (of blessed memory) also admitted the Jewish right to the land.

Nor is the state racially defined (and 'race' in any case is no longer used as a defining term by most anthropologists). There are Jews of every "racial" stripe known to man. In what way is a glow-in-the-dark Hassid from Lithuania the same race as a Persian Jew, an Egyptian Jew, a Baghdadi, a Jew from Samarkand or Bokhara, or a Sfard from Morocco?

And exclusion? Did I already mention that those who stayed, contrary to the commands of the invading Arab armies and at the express request of Jewish leaders in 1948, were automatically granted citizenship? If I didn't mention it yet, I apologize - I should have.

And speaking of 'exclusion', I should also mention that since 1948 the Jews were excluded in very large numbers from Islamic countries - were they had lived since before Islam, in many cases, and in some cases before the current population settled there (that being most notably ALL the lands inhabited today by Turkic majorities, all of which were conquered by invaders from the steppes between ten and four centuries ago - Istanbul used to be Constantinople, and the Greeks still want it back).

Jewish immigrants imported from Europe? Indeed, many of the citizens of Israel have ancestors who came from there (though, of course, the ancestors of the European Jews were not from Europe - see 'Historic Homeland' mentioned above).
Over half the Jewish population however came from Arab and Muslim lands that they were kicked out of in 1948 and years since.
And do not forget, there were already Jews there when they returned to Israel. Many of whom had never been elsewhere - the territory 'assigned' to them by the United Nations was the area of Jewish majority, not the total area where there were Jews. Those who were thrown out of the Arab countries were robbed by the Arabs before they left, and arrived with nothing. As the US Congress in fact recognizes. Note also that these exiles were absorbed by their kin - precisely as the Arabs have refused to absorb their own brothers who fled.

to the exclusion of the residents who were living there throughout the 19th and 20th centuries

The Jewish return to the land was already happening in small measure long before Zionism - Jews returned to Jerusalem, Hebron, Tzfat, and Gaza throughout Ottoman times, and there were Jews who already lived there.
For eight decades till 1948, Jewish population there increased more markedly than under the Caliphate.
Since 1948, it has been the Jewish state - but all in all, Jews have been a majority in their land now for several generations, since before independence. Many were born there, their parents were born there. And many even have grandparents, great grandparents, and even further kin who were born there. They live there now, and most have not lived anywhere else.
If being born in the US makes you an American, or a citizen of many other countries, then by that same reason the Jews in Israel are validly of Israel, and the "Palestinians" born in Nahr El Bard or Jordan are Lebanese and Jordanian.

Oh wait, Arabs practice an exclusionism even more bitter than Europeans and Malays. They discriminate against their own family.

While the Holocaust is a horrendous legacy, how does the Jewish state honor the memory of those who were killed by Nazi Germany by perpetrating similar acts of exclusion and oppression?

The comparison is obscene. After 1967, the Arab population in the territories more than tripled. Even in Gaza since the intifada, there has been a forty percent increase in the population, as per a news item on the BBC website which quotes UN figures. There are more Palestinians now than ever before. They have thrived most marvelously since 1948.

There are no death camps. There are no gas chambers. There are no torture rooms. The Arabs in the West Bank largely have their own officials to blame for the mess they are in (corruption nurtured and encouraged by the UN), and the Arabs in Gaza can thank Hamas (whose nickname, by the way, is SHIA - in snarky acknowledgement of the Iranian contribution) for their situation.

I really don't understand the Zionist mentality

That may be due to ignorance. Give it another shot.

Also, many Jews are anti-Zionist

That also may be due to ignorance. Provided we give them the benefit of doubt.

But more because they desperately wish to be unobjectionable to all, in every possible way. Blending in is a powerful motivator for Uncle-Tomism.
As is profound self-hatred.

[02/20/2009: I actually thought of refering to the anti-Zionist Jews as Kapos-in-training, but the situation is more complex than that. As "A" points out, "The whole issue of Jewish anti-Zionism is much more complex and should be treated in better detail and with less acrimony toward non-Jews.
Ultraorthodox Jews (Neturei Karte) did not want Zionism to usurp the traditional rabbinic leadership of the Jews.
Assimilationist Jews were/are afraid that Zionism will cast doubt on their loyalty to their current state.
Both Marxist and Assimilationist Jews believed that "progress" in a liberal or communist society would allow them to integrate and be part of larger society. In Germany and USSR, this proved to be an illusion.".

By the same token, many pro-Palestinian activists assert that they are not anti-Semites because their 'best friends' are Jewish (in other words, strictly anti-Zionist Jews). A more common tendency among them is to avoid Jews who they feel are too "Jewish", especially as regards the Israel and Palestine issues.
And, of course, there are still convinced anti-Semites in their ranks.
Not wishing to associate with a taboo minority is also a powerful motivator, as is profound subconscious hatred.

Any questions sofar? There will be a test.


Now, I find it interesting that the word 'apartheid' is so often used by the anti-Israel crowd. Interesting, because it does not mean what they intend it to mean, nor what they wish to think it means.
Apartheid is a Dutch word that strictly speaking means 'separateness', and in the South African context referred to a legal separation within the same country into ethnic classes (based, in fact, on old Dutch-Roman law and the feudal concept of Romans, nobles, freemen, and serfs) - something which in so varied and diverse a country as Israel is patently absurd.

The West Bank, of course, is different; the Arabs wish their eventual state to be as Judenrein as possible, and have made abundantly clear that they wish Jews to keep out, but do not object to dogs or Persians.

As my regular readers know, I speak, read, and write Dutch fluently. I also understand a number of Dutch dialects, including Afrikaans. Do not presume to lecture me on what 'apartheid' means. Do not even think of doing so. It is a word in my language, not yours - you have merely hijacked it, and 'colonized' it - precisely like the Arabs did to the Christian lands in North Africa, the Levant, and Iberia, exactly like Muslims did to Asia Minor, Western India, Central Asia, and parts of Indonesia. If you use that word, you betray your ignorance, and your linguistic carpetbaggery.
Plus, in this case, you devalue that word to the point of irrelevance.
As you are also doing by comparing the fairly minor Gaza war to the full-scale extermination of six million people over a five year period.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Outkitchens, in insular South-East Asia, are the places where most of the cooking takes place.
A simple clay stove, or bricked fire range, on which both iron pans and clay pots are equally at home, with a brazier for roasting. Plus a table for preparing food, a vat for water, and basins for washing vegetables and rice. Stone tile flooring. Cover it all with a corrugated roof, and leave at least one of the sides open so that smoke can clear.

The advantage is that one does not risk burning down the house if the fire gets out of control. But the real advantage is ventilation and the relative ease of clean-up.

Many people now have two kitchens. There's the expensive Western Kitchen, with electric appliances and the fancy imported range, as well as running water, refrigeration, and air-con. But most of the cooking is not done there. It serves to show off how modern the family is, and is also used to store the tinned and bottled foods (often still kept in a cupboard with woven slat or wire-gauze doors to keep out the pests). The real kitchen is outdoors.

Fresh ingredients are still bought daily, still washed out back, still cooked plainly in clay pots on the brick range. Real food does not require electric devices and complicated gadgets. People still cook what they have always been accustomed to eating. Food is not complicated.

Simplicity of cooking, however, by no means implies boring food. One can eat very well without ever using a blender. A soupy dish, a mild wet curry (mostly vegetables), a spicy dry-fry of vegs or meat, and a steamed fish, plus rice and blanched vegetables with a funky dip. And a chili-paste (sambal) on the side.
Easy, tasty, scant fuss.

The following spinach dish can also be cooked indoors, if one lacks access to a climate that averages nearly a hundred degrees Fahrenheit year-round. It will be just as good.


One pound spinach, rinsed and chopped.
Three cups coconut milk.
One stem lemongras, trimmed and bruised.

Two or three Romas, peeled seeded and chopped.
Two or three green Jalapenos, left whole.
Some slivered ginger.
Squeeze of lime.
One Tsp ground coriander.
Half Tsp turmeric.
Half Tsp ground cumin.
Dash of Tabasco.
Pinch salt.

Put everything except the spinach and lime juice in a large saucepan and simmer uncovered until slightly thickened, 8 to 10 minutes.
Add spinach, simmer until tender. Squeeze the lime over, and garnish with a little parsley and cilantro.
Serve with other dishes and rice.

Note I: It is best to fire-roast the Roma tomatoes to blister the skin before peeling.
Note II: Leave the Jalapenos whole so that their fragrance will be imparted to the dish, but not their heat. If you wish you can eat them separately yourself.
Note III: It is authentic to include either dried smoked fish or dried shrimp in the coconut milk. Authentic, but not necessary. Same goes for stinky fish-paste. It is up to you.

Bayem is actually Amaranthus leaf, rather than spinach. But you are more likely to encounter spinach at the market, and any type of greens will do. You could also use mustard greens, chard, or even chili leaves (called daon tjabe in Tamarao). All of these leafy things, collectively, count as bayem in modern parlance.
Gule ('goo-leh') means a wet coconut milk (santen) based mild curry.

The quantities given above would be suitable for four people. If it is just the two of you, adjust accordingly.


About a week ago a mailinglist of which I am a subscriber was startled out of its collective slumber by a desperate wake-up call. One of the members had a crisis.

A gentleman named A, who is married to J, requested a recipe for Oliebollen ('oil balls'). That being one of the few things that his spouse liked in the Netherlands, and their anniversary coming up, led him to his e-plea.
Naturally, I was somewhat distressed to find out that an American woman wasn't entirely enchanted by the Dutch and their marvelous cuisine (what, you didn't know?), but I papered over my disappointment at her disappointment, and provided the recipe.


4 (four) Cups white flour.
1.75 (one and three quarters) Cups warm (scalded) milk.
3 (three) TBS Sugar.
3 (three) Eggs.
1 (one) TBS oil.
1 (one) Tsp. Salt.
1 (one) TBS active yeast.
1.5 (one point five) cups chopped raisins.
A few drops vanilla essence, a little fresh orange or lemon zest.

Plus oil for deep-frying and powdered sugar for dusting.

Proof the yeast in the milk, with one tablespoon of the sugar dissolved therein (meaning: stir sugar and yeast into the warm milk, and let the yeast foam up and become all nice and active again).
Mix all other ingredients, and add the yeasted milk gradually after it has foamed. Mix well. Cover with a damp cloth, put in a warm place, and let the batter sit two hours or more till doubled in size.
Heat the oil for frying to 375 - 400 degrees. Drop spoonfuls of the batter into the hot oil (use a second spoon to push the batter off the first). Fry golden, remove from oil when done, drain on papertowels, and dust with powdered sugar.

Note I: A teaspoon of cinnamon can be added to the batter, or to the
powdered sugar.
Note II: If the milk is too hot for you to put your finger into,
it is too hot for the yeast. Better wait a moment - you don't want to kill the yeast, do you?
Note III: Leave plenty of space in the deep-fryer or the cauldron
- there is nothing worse than bliksems hot oil splashing up or boiling over.
Note IV: Some folks may want to avoid lactose and or gluten. Sorry, this recipe is not for you. Get real.

These things are usually available from stands of dubious cleanliness outside trainstations and in public squares from end of October through the beginning of March.

When exiting the train station in Eindhoven into the biting cold wind of late autumn, on the side where all the regional buses await passengers, it is sheer heaven to purchase a fresh bag of these, hot from the deep fat, and inhale them one after another, the powdered sugar getting up one's nose and all over one's clothes, fingers and lips tingling from the contrast with the frigid air.

The first time I went back for a visit, nearly nineteen years ago, there were some Cantonese girls standing by the fry-stand doing the same thing, and I surreptitiously listened in on their conversation. They were all students of the Chinese grammar school in the city, heading back to the villages in the Kempen where their folks ran restaurants. Their parents would have utterly disapproved of the expenditure of precious funds on hot dough (though, as children themselves, they had probably done exactly the same thing in Naam Hoi, Suen Tak, or Poon Yip). How delicious the guilty delight of shared funds invested in toasty comfort, the powdered sugar on their faces betraying their decadent spendthrifting, or perhaps even that all five had been snorting mega-lines of cocaine before going home!
Chinese-accented Dutch, Dutch-accented Chinese, and reverent little moans of pleasure as each hot airy doughpuff disappeared into a greedy mouth. Chan-hai ho sik! Sheer heaven.

I am not surprised that A's wife J fondly remembers oliebollen. It is also one of my more golden memories of the Netherlands.
As long as the Dutch do not speak, but simply feed me oliebollen, I should be happy there.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


While reading Justin Webb's blog on the BBC website, I ran across a pungent comment.

At 3:59pm on 13 Feb 2009, Gary_A_Hill wrote:
Criticism of the US on this point is well founded, I think. The extent of ignorance among Americans on this subject, and many other scientific subjects, is appalling.

The irony is that there is no conflict between understanding the details of the world around us and pondering the more fundamental question of why such a complex world should exist at all. Science does not seek an answer to this, and in the US, officially at least, we tolerate all opinions on these questions of faith. This is not sufficient for creationists, who are always trying to force their opinions into the realm of science and public policy.

The opinion so bitingly expressed accords with overseas praeconceptiva about Americans, and could very well have been uttered by some ale-sodden yobbo in any pub or café all across Western Europe.
Where, I hasten to add, I have heard precisely such generalizations uttered by people who had never been to the US, and whose knowledge of the place was abysmally limited.

[Criticism of the British and other Europeans on this point is well founded, I think. The extent of ignorance among them about America, and many other subjects, is appalling!]

So of course I registered a complaint. Checking the button for "defamatory or libellous". Because it clearly 'defames and libels' Americans. It is a blanket condemnation, and hence a falsehood.

The BBC, in its wisdom, chose not to accept my complaint.

And sent me the following:

Dear BBC Reader,

Further to your complaint about some of the content on a BBC blog
(cut), we have decided that it does not contravene the House Rules and are going to leave it on site.



The BBC Blog Team

This e-mail, and any attachment, is confidential. If you have received it in error, please delete it from your system, do not use or disclose the information in any way, and notify us immediately. The contents of this message may contain personal views which are not the views of the BBC, unless specifically stated.

Please note the statement that the e-mail, and any attachment (there was none) are, by the BBC's meshune standards, confidential. I am utterly baffled why this is so. There was no personal opinion, merely standard dismissive Brit poofle.

Had a commenter written "the extent of ignorance among Blacks on this subject, and many other scientific subjects, is appalling", or proposed "the extent of ignorance among the English on this subject, and many other scientific subjects", or even "the extent of ignorance among Muslims on this subject", the BBC no doubt would consider the statement hate speech. Concerning which they have strict rules in Britain.
But Americans are not accorded such courtesy.
Not by the British. Not by the Europeans.

The attentive reader will note that many other comments underneath the post in question on the BBC's website attest to a remarkable ignorance and dislike of Americans, a hatred even, which, if it were expressed against certain other groups would lead to riots in Arab capitols. This is fairly standard.
One expects little else from the other side of the Atlantic.
And one is, consequently, once again disappointed in that lot; which is a depressingly frequent occurence.


Looks like the US car companies are realizing just how much they can soak us for.

Chrysler LLC on Tuesday submitted an update on its viability plan to the Treasury, requesting an additional $2 billion in loans ........

General Motors Corporation said late Tuesday afternoon that it might need up to $30 billion in emergency federal loans by 2011 ........ worst-case scenario ........ hinges on even further concessions from its union workers and bondholders ........

In a normal business environment, it is beneficial and tonifying when incompetents clear the field. It clears up the clutter and gives more efficient companies a shot in the arm.
Time to shoot these horses.


Yes, you read it correctly. That is a Japanese given name attached to a Spanish surname. Which, if you think about it, is remarkable.

Noriko Calderon is a thirteen year old girl in Saitama prefecture who found out two years ago that she was Philippino. It happened when her mother was arrested for being an illegal alien. Turns out her dad was one too.
Up to that moment, Noriko had believed that she was Japanese - she was born in Japan, she speaks only Japanese, she is pretty much indistinguishable from her classmates at the junior high school she attends.
And, of course, she knows no Tagalog whatsoever.

That last is not as strange as it sounds, when you consider that her parents had no cause to share either personal characteristics or data with their child that would draw unfavourable attention and get them all kicked out of Japan.
In fact, they would have had every reason to learn accentless Japanese themselves, and impart that same 'accentless accent' to their daughter. Which, apparently, they did successfully.

I would imagine that even the food they ate at home was in no way remarkable or non-Japanese.
Even knowing about pork-adobo, dinuguan, or pancit molo, would mark the child as eccentric, deviant, oddball, and ....... FOREIGN.

Noriko's mother was arrested in July of 2006 for not having proper papers during a spot-check of foreigners on the streets near a train station.
Since then, the family has been trying to stay in Japan, though it looks like all legal options have come to naught. The parents have been ordered to leave Japan by the end of the month. Noriko may be allowed to stay, however that does not appear to be a realistic option.

BBC article:

Justice Minister Eisuke Mori, who oversees immigration, told reporters: "I have decided not to grant a special residential permit to the entire family."
A leading human rights lawyer handling the case said the immigration bureau had told the parents they had until 27 February to choose a departure date.
The immigration authorities warned that Noriko's 36-year-old father could be detained if he refused to leave.
"We accept neither the deportation of the whole family nor sending back only the parents," said lawyer Shogo Watanabe.
He said he would continue negotiating for the parents to be allowed to stay at least until the daughter was older.
Noriko's father said: "She is 13 years old. She cannot survive or protect herself alone."

I seriously doubt that dumping a young Japanese girl who cannot speak any Tagalog into the middle of the Philippines is either wise or in the girl's best interest. And it could possibly endanger her, as she has absolutely no survival skills in that environment, nor any clue about the dynamics of Philippino social relations. One would hope that the Japanese would understand this.

Even if they do have unrealistic faith in the survival skills and adaptability of Japanese-educated juveniles in any context.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:

All correspondence will be kept in confidence.

Friday, February 13, 2009


Frequent commenter Grant Patel seems to have gone all loopy. The results, from the point of view of this blogger, speak for themselves, and disclose utter volumes.

The vast majority of my far too few commenters are utterly sane, and very real individuals. Not so the perverse Patel. Who seems, with each passing day, to be in ever fiercer competition with himself for most eccentric statement.

Mr. Patel has bugs up his donkey about several things.

But mostly, it seems, the following four:

[The last subject mentioned is rumoured to be a petite Chinese-American female. She also comments here, so please, no stalking. It would upset both this blogger, and Mr. Patel, as well as infuriate the subject herself - you really do not want a small Cantonese woman angry at you (trust me on this).]

Mister Grant Patel (Esq. & Perv.) inhabits a unique universe.
I flatter myself that this blog encourages him to occasionally come down to earth, though not, alas, establish a firmer bond with reality.

Grant Patel on the subject of CHEESE:
* "Beautifully hued, like a saffron orange. The precise colour of silk on blonde skin. Yummy and sweet, my precious, yummy and sweet."
* "Do either cheese or teatime snackypoos offend the bollocky Muslims? They can stuff a kipper in it, and pound it sideways, is what they can do."
* "If the Jews desire feta, they should by all means have it."
* "Ooooo, stinky stinky!"

Grant Patel on the subject of PANTIES:
* "I needs must retire to fondle my collection of fine laundered panties for solace. So very buggery sad."
* "I, of course, think panties better. So soft. So smooth. So tight. Definition adding, and flattering to any form."
* "But I wear a starched dhoti."
* "ATBOTH's only obsession is probably panties in size 'teenager'."

Grant Patel on the subject of PAKISTANIS:
* "The Brits are becoming all Paki in their sensitivities. It is a shame. What is this world coming to?"
* "Buggery bollocky Pakis, finally halfassedly admitted that they planned the Mumbai massacre. Can't trust those sodding bainchotes."
* "And their camels! Meh, I say, meh! My emotions are numb. Time for a beating party. With cream pies. Oh indeed."
* "Lying like a sawar is second nature to the Pakiwakkis."

Grant Patel on the subject of SNOOKY WONG:
* "Who is this Telmacky daddy-o? Some kind of stalker? A fetishist? A tulmud-whacker? A very hungry teenager who lusts after the presumably hot young bod of the fabulous miss Wong? Girlie, you have a fan! Congratulations! Do we need to advise you on your legal rights vis-à-vis restraining orders? [skip to next comment] Give me a call. Let me speak to you of legal issues. Contracts, and prenupts. Your rights, privileges, and pleasures. Exchange cell-phone numbers, take my card. Lets do lunch."
* "First a gibber-rant about a teenage girlie without panties, then a long diskvisition about tobacco without panties."
* "To me it sounds as of the notorious panty thief ATBOTH needs a span in the military himself. It might do him some good, and keep him from harassing little Chinese girly bloggers."
* "I say take that evil minks off your blogroll. You devote FAR TOO MUCH time to the huggable Cantonese bints. It is a shandah!"

Perhaps the most telling communication from Mr. Patel is the statement he made at the end of January: "I am by no means off my meds. Who told you that?!?!"

Lets just say it was an educated guess. But if you insist the contrary, we shall just have to take your word for it, mister Patel.
Thank you in any case for sharing your marvelous thoughts with us. We are honoured.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:

All correspondence will be kept in confidence.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


What do you do with pumpkins? Are those objects actually edible? And did the noble savages actually pull one over on us by introducing the big orange-red things to us?

Not to worry. Stuff can indeed be done with them other than simply composting them.


A small Pumpkin, about two pounds.
2 cups Vinegar.
2 cups Water.
2 cups Sugar.
Four TBS Raisins.
Two TBS Ginger, peeled and slivered.
One TBS Salt.
One Teaspoon of Cayenne.
A squeeze of lime juice.

Scrape out the muck and seeds first. Then cut, peel, and coarsely grate the pumkin. Simmer with everything except the vinegar and the squooze lime till dry. Add the vinegar, squeeze the lime in, and cook thick. Decant into clean jars.

Note: For a beautifully hued preserve, substitute a measure of pomegranate juice for the water.

Use as you would any chutney or relish alongside meat. Or eat by the spoonful straight from the jar when you think no one is looking.


The British campaign against freedom of speech and secular humanism gathers steam, and Britain appears to be heading into the grey zone of civilization. No longer a bastion of civil liberties, or even democratic ideals, Britain seems destined for a shadowy half-life of quivering and abject 1984ism.


Anti-Islam campaigner and MP Geert Wilders arrived at London’s Heathrow airport on Thursday afternoon but was denied entry into the UK, the Telegraaf reports on its website. The paper says Wilders was escorted to a private room where immigration authority officials told him he would not be allowed into the country and would be deported within a few hours. Pim Waldeck, the Dutch ambassador to Britain, was on hand at Heathrow to offer assistance.


On Monday it emerged that Britain had banned Wilders from the country because his presence could lead to public disorder and because of his extremist views.


During the British Midland flight, Wilders told the Times newspaper that the British government was ‘the biggest bunch of cowards in Europe’. ‘It is easy to invite people you agree with, it is more difficult to invite people you disagree with and this is the proof of the pudding,’ the paper’s website quoted Wilders as saying. Wilders had been invited to attend a screening of his 15-minute film compilation, which equates Islam with terrorism, at the upper house of parliament in London.



Another article, in Dutch, can be found here:

De Nederlandse ambassadeur in Londen heeft tot het allerlaatste moment geprobeerd Wilders toegelaten te krijgen tot het Verenigd Koninkrijk, zegt het ministerie van Buitenlandse Zaken. ,,Nederland betreurt ten zeerste dat het Verenigd Koninkrijk zijn besluit niet heeft willen herroepen om de heer Wilders de toegang tot het land te ontzeggen. De Nederlandse ambassadeur in Londen heeft vanmiddag ter plekke nog een laatste poging daartoe gedaan en, toen ook dat geen resultaat had, nogmaals het Nederlandse ongenoegen overgebracht'', aldus het ministerie tegenover persbureau ANP.

[Translation: 'The Netherlands ambassador in London tried till the last moment to get permission for Wilders to enter the United Kingdom, says the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. "The Netherlands regrets that the UK did not wish to revoke their decision to deny mr. Wilders entry to the country. The Dutch ambassador in London this afternoon made a last attempt to that effect, and when that also had no result, conveyed Dutch dissatisfaction", the ministry stated to press agency ANP (Algemene Nederlandsche Pers).']

Well, there you have it. Ken Livingstone is still allowed to blather forth whatever is on his poisonous mind (and surely that man counts as the most representative and reprehensible of English political pimps for extremist points of view and terrorist causes), but anything that might upset the precious Muslims is verboten.
Until now, I had not realized that Pakistan was so important a trading partner for the British, nor could I even conceive of Englishmen taking their cultural cues from that pestilential pit of a place.
This is, in all aspects, flabbergasting.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


The British government has taken the extraordinary step of caving in, without a whimper, to fists being shaken impotently at them by angry illiterates.

Dutch member of parliament Geert Wilders said on Wednesday he would press ahead with plans to visit Britain on Thursday despite an official entry ban by the British government.


"I will get on a plane tomorrow and see what happens," Wilders told the BBC.
"I will not accept that an elected politician can be refused entry."

The British peer who invited Wilders to London to show his 15-minute film Fitna says he is shocked by the British government's 'weak' decision to ban the Dutch MP. Malcom Pearson told the BBC that while he does not agree with Wilders' call for the Koran to be banned, he would 'defend his right to say what he has said'.


The British government said on Tuesday that it ‘will stop those who want to spread extremism, hatred and violent messages in our communities from coming to our country.’


Perhaps the British are unaware that it is already too late to stop those who want to "spread extremism, hatred and violent messages" from entering - a Google search on the term 'Finsbury Mosque' will yield some surprising results. One might also want to question why so many hate-filled Islamic radicals and their preachers live in Britain. And, having established that Britain has become a hotbed for the dissemination of Jihadi ideologies, one could then very well ask the British government what the devil they mean by banning an elected politician, whose views they obviously fail to have researched in any meaningful way, from traveling across the channel - at the invite, nota bene, of one of their own parliamentarians.

One might also question whether Lord Ahmed, one of the ringleaders in this shameful circus, should ever be allowed outside the UK - as a provocateur and whore to Islamic extremists (that being a large segment of the British Labour Party, one might add), no useful purpose can be served by allowing such an unprincipled man access to either the continent or to North America.



Dear Mr Wilders

The purpose of this letter is to inform you that the Secretary of State is of the view that your presence in the UK would pose a genuine, present and sufficiently serious threat to one of the fundamental interests of society. The Secretary of State is satisfied that your statements about Muslims and their beliefs, as expressed in your film Fitna and elsewhere, would threaten community harmony and therefore public security in the UK.

You are advised that should you travel to the UK and seek admission an Immigration Officer will take into account the Secretary of State's view. If, in accordance with regulation 21 of the Immigration (European Economic Area) Regulations 2006, the Immigration Officer is satisfied that your exclusion is justified on grounds of public policy and/or public security, you will be refused admission to the UK under regulation 19. You would have a right of appeal against any refusal of admission, exercisable from outside the UK.



The more I think of it, the more convinced I become that it would be thoroughly appropriate to prevent all British politicians from ever traveling to mainland Europe and the Americas. Let them travel to the Arab world and Pakistan instead - they really should meet the constituencies to which they pander.

Monday, February 09, 2009


Yiftach. Who promised that he would make a burnt offering of the first thing out of his house if he was victorious over the Ammonites. Fetah, imperatively, is yiftach, in my imaginary version of Arabic.
Yiftach - fetah!

That was the thought that stuck in my head during an important conspiracy meeting yesterday. There were seven of us around the table - a librarian, a teacher, a family psychologist, a lawyer, a doctor, an accountant, and myself. The fetah connection did not have anything to do with any of them.

The librarian kept pouring shots from a bottle of strong cough medicine into her tea. But she was indeed very ill (refusheleimuh), and should not have been there. Cough cough.
The librarian recounted, with the lawyer chipping in, about a lecture they had recently attended, that left them shaken - two solid hours of vicious lies. Yes, it was a pro-Palestinian lecture, how did you know?
The family psychologist mentioned administrative staff at length. The lawyer discussed various things. I can't remember what, other than the agreement with the teacher, in nuanced and codicilized detail.
The doctor analyzed a spectrum of situations, spoke clarificatorily, elucidated, and made cogent comments.
The accountant made reference to machers at two shuls, and expanded upon exceptions to other things. He and I had earlier compared kippot - he was wearing a plain dark blue (the only clean one he could find in a hurry, despite owning several hundred), I had with me a brightly festive multi-coloured knit jobby perfectly suited for the Gay Pride parade in summer. Very very happy looking!
Our tastes in pipe-tobacco overlap, in mittn drinnen.

None of this has to do with fetah. There is no connection. Fetah was not even mentioned. It is not part of our conspiracy.
So why fetah?

A kaiser roll, and a tub of what LOOKED like cream cheese.

Deceptively. It just looked like it.
Then someone mentioned the phrase 'yitbach al Yahud'.
Hence the connection. Nevertheless, fetah is a very good thing.

Yiftach al Yahud - fetah for all the Jews!

And after that, we shall contentedly smoke our pipes with Latakia mixtures, while wearing our colourfully extroverted kippot.

Friday, February 06, 2009


Not surprisingly, the number of anti-Semitic incidents in the Netherlands has increased sharply in recent months, peaking during Operation Cast Lead.
Anti-Semitism has never been absent from Dutch society, and has waxed markedly since the sixties. By the nineties, one could definitely speak of hostility and intimidation.
One could also speak of official apathy.


Representatives of the 'other', in Dutch society, are always representatives of ALL of the 'other', of ALL of the worst of the 'other', and often, ONLY of the worst of the 'other' - that which is seen as good is exceptional, not representative.

Traditionally, in Dutch Christian circles, the Jews were blamed for the death of Christ. Even among non-Catholics, the role of the Romans in that tale has customarily been excused, and Dutch churchmen, whether Catholic or Calvinist, cannot ever be said to veer towards impartiality. This judgementalism has carried over generously to even the non-religious.

Not only Jews, but also Moroccans, Turks, Indonesians, Surinamers Germans, and other non-generics - all have in Dutch society been identified as prime representatives of something signally reprehensible and non-Dutch. More reprehensible, in fact, precisely by virtue of being non-Dutch.
It is a mark of blending-in to humbly acknowledge the correctness of that view, and adopt as one's own the intellectual habitus supporting the process.

Hence the Dutch (and the Dutch Muslim community) blame individual Jews for all of the perceived wrongs in the Middle-East.


Anyone who identifies as Jewish is both personally responsible for whatever any Jew has ever done, and fits in best in Dutch society if they act according to expectation - namely, as a perfect saint-victim.

What is particularly galling is that the Dutch Jewish community is nearly invisible - 45 thousand at maximum count, of which one third are only part Jewish.
Thirty thousand Jews is a better estimate, although those who are observant are probably far, far less than that (a few thousand at max).
Less than a third of a percent of the population are Jewish. And all Dutch Jews are fully assimilated.

So finding a Dutch Jew to blame for the all the ills of the world takes effort.


The Dutch government, of course, will take no responsibility for the increase in hate, intimidation, threats, or actual violence, even though it is the pronunciamentos of politicians and parliamentarians that have been conducive to the poisoned atmosphere.
When the Dutch Jewish community has finally emigrated and left entirely, they will bemoan their departure, saying "we were so good to them, we cannot fathom why they deserted us". It will be entirely the fault of the departees, not of the social environment - which, being Dutch, is of course safeguarded from any reproach.

The Dutch in the 21st century have plenty of candidates to fill the role of 'other'.
Even 'separateness' in Dutch society has a multitude of contemporary examples that can be highlighted cautionarily for rhetorical or political effect. Socio-culturally, there is no role left in Dutch society which uniquely requires Jews.
Dutch Jews have become expendable.

This blogger, of course, would gladly have them all move over here.
I need Dutch speakers in my vicinity with whom I can get along.

Thursday, February 05, 2009


At times, the attitudes of other subcultures can be quite illuminating. Especially when a certain attention to details which we would blithely overlook becomes evident.
Hence this post.

Notes from a lecture by Sheikh Galal El Khatib

One of the husbands rights is to chastise his wife if she is disobedient.
What does this word "disobedient" mean?
Disobedience is to leave the house without the husband's permission, to refuse to obey the husband in bed, to speak to the husband rudely, or to do the opposite of what he wants - all these are forms of disobedience.

Shariah has instituted several means of disciplining a disobedient wife. These measures must be followed in order, you cannot rush to the third measure before despairing of the second, and you cannot go to the second before despairing of the first. The correct order must be followed.

The first measure for chastising a disobedient wife is to admonish her - the husband should talk to her softly, reminding her of God, and that if she wants to enter paradise, she must obey. He must tell her that by making her husband happy, she pleases God, and that his rights outweigh those of her parents.

Well then, if admonishment doesn’t work, the next step is banishment. Some aver that the wife should be banished from his couch, while others opine that he should abstain from connubulatus with her - but I do not agree with the latter view, because connubulatus is a right of the husband - how can he punish her by depriving himself of connubulatus? It is enough if he does not smile or say nice things to her, instead giving her the cold shoulder. But he has the right to have connubulatus with her even during banishment.

Okay then, he's tried admonishment, he's tried banishment. But nothing works.
Her emotions are dull, and she says "meh". So what is the next thing?
"And beat them..." - beating. The Prophet Muhammad peebuh said that the beatings should be light, and that one should avoid the face, or the tender areas, which might lead to broken bones, or might leave a mark that would spoil her beauty, on her face or anywhere on her body. Beatings that draw blood or break bones, or leave a scar or a bruise, or any obvious mark, which would let people know that she was badly beaten - this is forbidden.

How then should one beat? Maybe a light slap on the shoulder, maybe a firm pinch, or a gentle shove. He should make her believe that he wants to reform her, and let her know that he is quite unsatisfied with her. It is like telling her "methods that work with sensible people do not work with you, a mere word would be enough for a wife of lofty morals, but with you, words are useless!"

Then he tries a new tactic, appealing to her femininity and emotions, by making her think that he doesn't want or love her. And if this doesn't work, he says to her "with you I have reached a point which is only suitable for subhumans, the stage of beating".

Beating is one of the punishments of shariah.
What manner of people are beaten?
The virgin adulterous, both male and female, are beaten to discipline them. And who else is beaten? A person who offended, and was sentenced by a judge to a beating. And who else is beaten? A person who committed a crime.
By beating his wife, the husband says "you have done an evil deed, and that deserves a whupping!"


Source: MEMRI, more or less.

[See LiveLeak: ]

A slight rephrasement, to make it read smoother, was applied to the text, but the letter and spirit of the beating have been faithfully maintained.

There are other instructive lectures on the same wholesome subject available at the source listed above: Wife beating as therapy, Sermon on the wondrous nature of wife beating, Wife beating in Islam, Culture of wife beating under Islamic law, How to properly beat your wife, and many more.

All of these lectures make clear that Muslims, even stern and old-fashioned believers, are significantly better than trailerparkers, who leave scars, often break bones, and bruise the faces of their wives, throw away the poor woman's make-up and hair dye, and even smash her whiskey bottle besides.
This blog cannot possibly endorse such things.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009


On Tuesday evening Hamas police raided a United Nations warehouse in Gaza and seized thousands of blankets and foodparcels. This was under orders from Hamas leadership, which justified the action by stating that the UN intended to distribute the material randomly without taking into consideration that some of the recipients would be opponents of Hamas.
In the context of Gaza, that means secularists, gays, Christians, and members of Fatah.
All of whom deserve to have their knees broken.

Source A - Algemeen Dagblad (in Dutch):

Source B - Haaretz (in English):

Police seized the aid after UNRWA officials refused to voluntarily hand it over to the Hamas-run Ministry of Social Affairs, he said. Similar aid packages were distributed to 70,000 residents over the past two weeks, Gunness said.

Ahmad Kurd, the Hamas official in charge of the ministry, did not deny the aid was seized. Other Hamas officials defended their actions.

Hamas spokesman Taher Nunu demanded an apology and said UNRWA was spreading false news. Ihab Ghussein, a spokesman for the Interior Ministry, said the incident occurred because the UN was storing the blankets in an area not authorized to be distributed.

Source C - BBC News:

The Hamas Social Affairs Minister in Gaza, Ahmed al-Kurd, denied that members of the Islamist movement had removed aid from a UN building.
However, he said his ministry was in dispute with the UN relief agency about how aid should be distributed.
He accused the UN of giving aid to local groups with ties to Hamas opponents.

Clearly the United Nations is lying.
A respected and beloved organization such as Hamas would NEVER steal. Ever. As all supporters of Hamas (i.e.: Western Europe, the Muslim world, and Berkeley) will tell you.
Even the criminals and recidivists (Fatah members, Christians, Gays, and Secularists) who were kneecapped recently after Hamas defeated the Israelis will gladly aver as much (or else).

I have two suggestions:
1. Have volunteers from Berkeley distribute UN aid to Gaza, to ensure that the aid reaches the people for which it is intended (core members of Hamas).
2. Give Berkeley a seat at the United Nations, so that ALL supporters of Hamas - Western Europe, the Muslim World, and Berkeley - can present a united front, and counter the bigotry of the anti-Hamas faction at the United Nations.

Christopher Gunness, the United Nations Relief and Works Agency Spokesman who made the base accusation, should be dismissed forthwith. In the interests of fairness. He is unsuited to the job. It is obvious that neither he nor his agency can be relied on to be fair and equitable as regards distributing blankets and food to the truly deserving.

This blog joins the good activists of Western Europe, the Muslim World, and Berkeley, in expressing shock and outrage at the clear and evident bias of the United Nations.
We are truly horrified.


Colleague and friend Bawaji forwarded a link to an article, with the cogent comment: "If India had half a brain and any guts, they'd bomb these bastards to hell. What a great opportunity! One that the other side would not hesitate to have taken."

I cannot say that I particularly disagree. The Pakistani government, as usual, shows its complicity in terrorism and criminal enterprise. A more unreliable and treacherous bunch than the rulers of that ghastly failure of a state is hard to imagine.

Quote from the article:
"Authorities made no effort to stop the meeting, despite the ban on some of the groups taking part.
Among those attending were representatives of leading Pakistani militant groups including Jaish-e-Mohammad, Harkat-ul-Mujahideen and Jamat-ud-dawa, a charity linked to Lashkar-e-Taiba. The conference called on the ban on Jamat-ud-dawa to be lifted.
Our correspondent says that the only security at the conference was a line of policemen who surrounded the venue. "

Did you get that? The Pakistani police provided protection for homicidal maniacs and psychopaths. Because they were fellow Muslims. Who have the blood of infidels on their hands. And are therefore praiseworthy, and all round heroic, to the Pakistani umma.

It's no secret, by the way, that the ISI, many politicians, and many Islamic institutions in Pakistan, all provide logistical, organizational, and material support to Jihadis in Kashmir, Afghanistan, and Britain.

I shall not add any further comment, lest I be accused of bigotry. Draw your own conclusions.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


The following is a guest-post by frequent-commenter Grant Patel.
Don't worry, it is entirely clean - he does not mention underwear at all.

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Turkish pro-footballer Ibrahim Dagasan of Sivasspor planted a Palestinian flag in the centre of the field after his team beat Galatasary today. This was greeted by massive anti-Semitic screaming by the audience, composed primarily of idiots unaware of their own nation's depraved and disgusting history.

Not only when Turkey was still the Ottoman Empire - infamous for slave-raiding, brutal repression, sexual profligacy, and sheer decadent cruelty (culminating in the first genocide of the modern era, when Turks brutally slaughtered over a million Armenians (Armenian: Հայոց Ցեղասպանութիւն, Turkish: Ermeni Soykırımı) - but also since then with their gangbusters war against the Kurds. Truly, modern Turkey is still a pit of a nation, just as homicidal, and thuggish in its politics, as when they took over Byzantium, committing murder and rape on a scale so horrific that even the Arabs, no strangers to sadism, were stunned.

While I would like to argue that this is the final drop of sewage in the generously overflowing bucket of proof that Turkey has no place in Europe (let alone anywhere in the civilized world), and should be permanently denied entry to the European Union, but I must alas acknowledge sadly that this instead proves that the Turks are every bit as European as the rest of that bunch. Woe. It is tragic.

I do not know whether this proves the Turks adept at emulation like monkeys, or shows that European anti-Semitism is universally appealing to the imperfectly civilized tribals of the world. I suspect much of both, and resolve to henceforth give Continentals and Muslims as much of a miss as possible in the Bay Area. They are little more than bloodthirsty gandus and owls. Their cooking is not enough to excuse them.

India, China, Japan, and the United States, at least, are civilized. The rest of you lot are mostly pigs. Oink, bitches, oink.

---Grant Patel


Mr. Patel is a Parsee attorney-at-law, currently at a firm in the Bay Area. He describes his life as "sifting through the clerical detritus created by incompetent Bengalis and neurotic Tamils - telecommunications mostly".
For entertainment, Grant Patel obsesses over undergarments, has fond thoughts of nuking Pakistan, follows the noble sport of cricket, and enjoys fine (non-Muslim) dining. His parents are from Gujarat, hence his meshune love of Undhiu, which normal people loathe from the minute of first exposure.

He is unmarried, likes long walks on the beach, sweet pressed flake pipe-tobacco, and "young wheatish women, provided that they are both feisty and spunky, like a hot pepper".

He also insists that I say that he is "both bahut manly and dashing, very much and exactly like Rajesh Khanna, okay."

Anytime, dude.

Monday, February 02, 2009


Contrary to base allegations from some quarters, I did indeed know that yesterday was Superbowl Sunday. I am not as sports-ignorant as you thought. Quite the opposite even. In fact, I was aware of the coming of the superbowl no later than Friday evening, well in advance of the game. I was on the ball, so to speak (a sportish metafor!).

I also knew which teams were playing. I knew this ere Dovey stumbled in to the bar, blitzed, sweaty, and deliriously happy that his team had won. I was prepared - I congratulated him on his spectacular victory, which shall be remembered for as long as people celebrate the noble art of ball playing. He had, apparently, backed the Pittsburgh team. And their brilliant game was a personal best for him, of which he was justifiably proud.

There were no supporters of the other team, which hailed from Mississippi or Georgia. They didn't win, their defeat proved their unworthiness, and ultimately the flaws of their city. Their misguided fans had no cause to celebrate, and were probably already sunk into several alcoholic stupors by mid-evening. As was fitting. A majority of right-thinking people evidently supported the Pittsburgh team, and hailed the splendid Pittsburgh triumph as a blow for freedom, democracy, and the American way. It was all-round glorious. And that final score! Heavens, guys, kudos! And bravo!

Truly, ball playing is a noble sport, and cheerleading is entertainment for kings. There can be no finer past-time than watching the spectacle (ball playing) on a wide-screen television, while eating copious amounts of cheese and sauerkraut. Fathers taking their children into the backyard to practice, with big leather gloves and the hog's skin, is indeed a splendid way to build character, as American as toaster strudel. Here, batta batta batta, as they say, here batta batta batta. It's a total house-run, out of the park. Thrilling, and far out.


A UN official has been kidnapped in Pakistan.
John Solecki, a senior official of the United Nations refugee agency, was seized by gunmen in Quetta. His driver, a Pakistani, was shot dead.
The perpetrators are unknown, and no group has claimed responsibility.

Given the sterling service that the UN has performed for Hamas and Hezbollah, it is absolutely inconceivable that Muslims would have done this. The more so as the assailants killed the driver - manifestly not an Islamic act.

The only possible conclusion is that this was done by the Jews.

Many Pakistanis agree that the Jews stop at nothing, and have vast powers, besides being invisible and adept at subterfuge.
This opinion is supported by much anecdotal evidence from other Muslim countries.
Quod erat demonstrandum.

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