Sunday, August 22, 2021

THEY'VE GOT PEANUTS THERE, THAT'S ONE THING THAT'S GOOD FOR YOU

One of the very good reasons to hate Marin County is because there are no street vendors fixing kwee tiau goreng by the side of the road. Imagine that there you are, casually strolling around Lucky Drive, when a peckishness befalls you. You look around. What's this? A random seller of freshly prepared foods has set up across from the Safeway. How splendid! Freshly sauteed garlic. Some chopped beef, mustard greens, chili paste, and cake noodles tossed in a pan over high heat. Some chives, drizzle of soy sauce, scallion, pinch sugar, ground pepper. Add an egg if you choose, finish with a few drops sesame oil. Served hot.

Yeah, no.

Marinites do not eat well. They're all Vegans, or something. Spiritual, and dietarily limited.
They only eat foods that have been approved for white people.

炒粿條 Isn't on the list.



So when I got home today, I headed into the kitchen. Meat cuttings, stalks of mustard green, chilipaste, garlic, appropriate noodles presoaked, chopped scallion and ginger, sweet soy sauce (ketjap manis). Like throwing a lifesaver to a drowning man. Dash of fish sauce.



There is no way of explaining the terror I felt. I was pouring sweat, my blood is too thick for Marin, I've never been able to properly explain myself in that environment.

They're all prehistoric lizards, it's a reptile zoo!
Holy Jezus what are these animals?
Somebody fed them booze.
It's bat country.



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