RABBIT RABBIT JUNE 2026

Rabbit rabbit. Sometimes doomscrolling isn't the first thing I want to do. I mean, considering that we're celebrating two and a half centuries with a cage brawl on the south lawn, and a giant orange poison dart frog impersonating Elvis because otherwise it's a solid day of Vanilla Ice doing his two songs over and over again, how much more American can it get?
Star spangled adult diapers?


The Star Spangled Banner as played by an Iranian Kazoo orchestra?


So yeah, no doomscrolling to start the day. Not this time. Instead, half an hour of animals acting like New Yorkers and saying snide things. Maybe I should order some pizza.
It goes with everything East Coast, especially the Big Apple.

Coffee. Pills. First pipe of the day.
It's sunny outside.


No sounds of construction equipment. Distantly, a siren.
This is the golden age of urban decay.

My apartment mate told me that the Valedictorian at her youngest nephew's graduation was a young lady who totally aced every math test and excelled in other brain-based courses. That's progress. Eventually women won't need us men for anything else except throwing balls on teevee (it's what we American males do best), and those of us who are useless can just veg in front of the wall-mounted flatscreen all day eating cheetos and grunting.
It's a brave new world.


Quite possibly I am defective. Haven't turned on the telly in years. And it's a dinosaur of its kind; an RCA from the late seventies the size of moving box. So I'm not with the programme. The idea of having the boys over to hoot appreciatively at the team has never crossed my mind and there is no beer on the premises. Having a bunch of like-minded rowdies come by is not in the cards anyway, because my friends do not rowd, and we'd have to open all the windows for ventilation. There's only enough air for maybe two pipesmokers, three max. And no cigars. Middle of the week when she's at work and her bedroom door is closed, and both of you fellow disreputables need to leave just after teatime so that the place can air out.

And absolutely NO hobbit tobacco. We're not doing bloody Lord Of The Rings here. Aromatics are dreck, and not worth stuffing into a pipe. Role-playing noodges huff that.
Real men go for Balkans or Virginia blends. Possibly eccentric Cornell & Diehl burley concoctions if they're hipsters and spout poetry. Real women too.
The chemistry of taste does vary with gender.

[Balkans: William Faulkner. Virginia blends: Sir Bertrand Russell. Burley concoctions: Christopher Morley.]


We'll read our books together in silence for an hour or two.
Stand up, stretch creakily, prepare another pot of tea.
There are enough dictionaries here, don't worry.
As well as various reference books.
It will be perfect.


Rabbit rabbit.



==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================