Sunday, April 03, 2022

OWEN'S PARSNIP THING

The Inuit have a hundred words for snow, the Dutch have four hundred words for bodies of water, and the Welsh have fifty thousand words for parsnips and can talk of naught else. They're obsessed with parsnips. That is to say, a friend is studying his ancestral language, with the aid of duolingo, and they keep bringing up Owen's parsnips. Every single day.
I think they hired Owen as a consultant, and he's sending us a message.
He's desperate for parsnips.

The parsnip (pastinaak in civilized speech), is a noble vegetable that grows in big rivers like the amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming.

Parnips are dangerous, so if you see one ...


Oh wait. Sorry. That's Owen, actually. He speak English very well, he learn it from a book.


I'm sorry. I know bugger all about parsnips (pastinaken). I must have eaten them, I'm sure, but I cannot remember a thing about them. They're not an earth-shaking experience.
And they play no role in my world.

I am not Owen.



Probably best fried.





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