Monday, April 18, 2022


Okay, I'll admit that today's first venture into the interwebs with "opinions" was unpleasantly meanspirited. Even though I'll blame the grumpiness that comes naturally with waking up cold and alone in a dark uncaring universe, as well as displeasure at being ripped from warm comforting dreams in which everybody spoke Dutch. And it was before I had had my first cup of coffee or a walk with a pipe. I'm not fully human until then.

I still don't like the rest of this country, or the world.
Y'all dress funny, smell bad, and eat too much.
Plus far too many of you are scrotums.

In something totally unrelated, let's talk about 'Normal Old Dude', who spent several hours where I work recently. That being the care facility for retired old farts who smell bad. He likes to watch women's tennis, golf, the horse races, basketball, shows about pawnbrokers, and two naked men in the wilderness where there are bears who might have a chainsaw. All of which involve muscled bare legs and shorts. Plus sweat. The other day he tried placing an order to go for half a cobb salad, and a chopped salad with salami substituted for chicken, extra dressing no spices, plus bread sticks with butter. With butter. Bread sticks with butter. Half a cobb salad and a chopped salad with salami substituted for chicken extra dressing no spices plus bread sticks with butter! Salami instead of chicken! Cheese. Cobb salad, half, chopped salad with salami, extra dressing no spices, no spices, bread sticks with butter. Bread sticks with butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Breadsticks. Thank you. Half an hour.
It took five phone calls, and I don't think they were messing with him.
That's twenty minutes we'll never get back.

From Wikipedia: "The Cobb salad is a main-dish American garden salad typically made with chopped salad greens (iceberg lettuce, watercress, endives and romaine lettuce), tomato, crisp bacon, fried chicken breast, hard-boiled eggs, avocado, chives, blue cheese, and red-wine vinaigrette." End cite.

Normal Old Dude is several years my senior. He leads such an exciting life. I have never had a Cobb Salad. My salads are blanched vegetables still crisp enough with spicy dressings that contain peanuts, hot chili paste, tamarind, and fish sauce. Plus only a touch of palm sugar. Acceptable shortcuts are a small amount of peanut butter, a very large quantity of jarred sambal, and a hefty squeeze of lime juice. Lalap, tjagaroan, gado gado, petjel, lotek, or similar preparations. Easy to do casual snacky home style. Kind of Indo.
The Cobb salad sounds far too complicated.

I suspect Normal Old Dude would quail at the thought.
It is doubtful that he knows about sambal.
Which goes with everything.

If it weren't for Huy Fong Foods and their excellent products, life in this country would be impossible. That, those, plus strong tea, buttered toast, fine British marmalade, anchovy paste, and flake tobacco for my pipe, keep me going.

As well as Chinese bakeries with such lovely things as egg tarts, old wife cake, flaky charsiu turnovers, red bean biscuits, paper wrapped cupcakes, scallion buns, pork floss rolls, deep fried sesame balls, little chicken pot pies ........

My legs are decent. Fairly muscled, not sweaty, rarely bare.
Shorts on mature men are in bad taste.

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