THERE ISN'T REALLY A CURE FOR THAT

The three things necessary for a man to wake up in the morning are, in this order: coffee, BBC news, and a pipe filled with aged Virginia tobaccos and a touch of either fire-cured or Perique. Stoved black Virginia in lieu of the Perique or fire-cured leaf, if he's feeling lazy and decadent. Apparently this is not universally known. One of my very good friends wakes up with coffee and sports-radio, followed by a brisk walk to a place where a pastry and more coffee can be found. I feel that first coffee and second coffee are a blur of sameness, and require something sacramental to punctuate the morning and capstone the caffeine.

Sports-radio is not news but simply blather.
He's probably doing the best he can.

For a woman to wake up, it is obviously rather different. A hot beverage and something fried or toasted. Depending on how close said person is to her menses. Caffeine makes the discomfort worse, a lack of caffeine makes the individual grumpy. Again I am basing this on the example close at hand. This morning I left for my walk with a pipe early, and dawdled considerably, because my apartment mate (female) was ... irritable.
I am considerate, but I am not a fool.

She tends to feel bloated and snappish at these times. And she hates tobacco smoke no matter what her body is doing.


Were it otherwise, I can imagine her enjoying a short perfecto from Davidoff after her breakfast. It's a piss-elegant little number, and quite one of the most beautiful and well-made cigars around. A bit expensive, but one should treat oneself during the menses.
Doing so improves one's mood.

Given the effect of caffeine at this time, a nice cuppa is right out.

All in all, I'm rather glad that I am not a female.
I just don't have the temper control for it.
Nor the sheer stamina it takes.
Or the talent.


I'd probably hurt someone if I couldn't have my coffee.

TOBACCO INDEX


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