FRUITY ELVES

There's a pipe tobacco available in our great country called "Raspberry Cream". In addition to raspberry essences and syrup, it also has a hint of vanilla, as well as a faint whiff of chocolate. I have not tried it. I am not crazy. One of the things that we pipe smokers often hear is "that reminds me of my grandfather", which if your grandfather was a drunk old sot with a horrid attitude and stack of Hustler magazines in his garage this probably does indeed do.

Far be it from me to disparage another man's ghastly taste, but faugh.
Forsooth and gadzooks, even.


If I still worked with Hector, I'd acquire a tin for entertainment purposes, because his repelled reaction whenever I smoked frou frou trash was most endearing. Cringing, whimpering, foul language, and fleeing to the other end of the building where he'd glower the rest of the day.


Raspberry cream: that's a flavouring for a gentle laxative marketed to crusty old geezers taking their dumps on the edge of their grave. "Here old man, take a load off your mind before you leap into the void. Farewell dear fool, we shan't miss you."

It's Gandalf and Hobbit approved.

TOBACCO INDEX


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