Sunday, December 05, 2021

WHY THE SPHINX HAS NO NOSE

Women used to dress up and go to cocktail parties or restaurants to drink. Nowadays, they gather in the apartment directly opposite the front door of this building, on the second floor, wearing next to nothing and swilling white wine. Of course, this IS during a pandemic.
Rather than the nineteen fifties when no one got infected.

The apartment mate was browsing for compacts on the internet. Small flat cases with a mirror and a powder puff. A proper lady couldn't pee in public without one.

I did not know that.

Well, I did, of course. I've seen enough of old television shows to know that when Della Street picks up her compact she's going to the ladies' room.


Per the apartment mate:


'Oh, it was sweet! Once upon a time women had to go powder their noses! Instead of "out of my way, Twats, I have to pee!"'


Do not get in the way of a woman whose bladder speaks to her. The bladder is saying something urgent, she may too. Don't let it bother you, you are being too senstive.
Get out of her path and clear some space, she has to pee.

I have never seen a woman pee. I didn't doubt that they did so, but I haven't ever actually had direct evidence; it wasn't necessary. Women talk about it, sometimes at very great length.
A lady explorer speaking of her dire trek in the Amazon will mention that finding a quiet spot to pee away from the gauchos became a pressing need, by the third or fourth day. They had to dodge poisoned arrows from the natives and piranhas or crocodiles.
Oh, it was a fearsome journey!


A male explorer detailing his trip to the piramids in Egypt will casually let fall that he took a giant leak from the top, if he mentions his bodily functions at all. Or that the nose of the sphinx fell off because of stone softening caused by generations of urinating Egyptian ragamuffins and Frenchmen standing right on top of the head, happy go luckily taking a whizz.


Judging by the existence of sterling silver compacts, at one time women needed their noses to pass water. They would have had a hard time in Egypt. We've made progress since then.




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