Thursday, December 16, 2021

FELIX NATALIS

Yesterday was my apartment mate's birthday. And I like that woman, so I bought a cake and some foody substances. As well as gifting her with action figures. Two admirable people. Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Anthony Fauci. As well as a spider monkey. Who will join the other small roomies that infest this apartment and often say outrageous things. Or tell me that I should eat more, so that eventually when I croak I will have nice fatty thighs upon which to feast (that's the turkey vulture), unlike the wiry pins I have now, which are undoubtedly too tough and stringy to enjoyably beak apart. Not as scrumptious as a raptor (scavenger) would like.

Sorry, little buzzard dude, I eat enough. Plenty.
My thighs are fine the way they are.

As was the Dungeness crab which I brought home.
Unlike the gentle exemplar in the picture, this one was belligerent and fierce because he was missing a limb or two, probably lost when arm wrestling with the others in the tank. I named him Septimus while he scuttled around the sink blowing bubbles, then tossed him into boiling water with some ginger chunks and scallion to meet his maker. He was juicy and delicious.

Having seen the internet meme of the crab with the steak knife, I did not place sharp objects anywhere near him. Yes, it would have evened the playing field, made the confrontation more equitable, but that was not something I desired. Headline: "Jury sides with crab who stabbed kwailo in kitchen stand off, justifiable self defense verdict".

I would never trust a jury of my peers in this city.
Too many bleeding hearts and vegans.


There was also charsiu (我鍾意好肥嘅), of which there is plenty left over.
She concentrated on the crab.


I think she had a good birthday.



In afterthought, Septimus should have been Septemembra or Septemartus. But I wasn't concentrating on what little remains of my high school Latin. I cannot remember what brachiures are called. They don't play a part in the Gallic wars or Suetonius.



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