THINKING AHEAD: PASSOVER

Pre-emptively cover everything in your kitchen (and bathroom, to be on the safe side) with aluminum foil (two layers; Rashi AND Rabbeinu Tam) now. If your tablecloths are shatnez, then them too.

And, because of the forty year picnic in the midbar yadda yadda yadda, paper plates are a zeicher l'avos.(*)

Fancy paper plates. They have a blue rim.


On the other hand, the Rambam says you're allowed to book a hotel for Pesach over three months in advance. Which if you have in-laws, is a jolly good idea. Don't tell anyone where (it's Miami, always), and pre-write all the "wish you were here" postcards (no melacha on chol ha moed). Give them to the attendant before you arrive for mailing during the week.

And don't sign them; lifnei iver, lo titen michshol.

POSEIK

Ein gaon ha-emmes

(*) Reb Yonasson disagrees. Er sogt: "Moshe Rabbeinu had a full set of his grandmother's China in the wilderness. A. FULL. SET."
But chazal have ruled azoy: Those were chipped, and probably made in Delft, so there is NO chazaka of kashrus. The Dutch, as is well known, were making earthenware, NOT porcelain, at that time. A lower firing temperature, and absorbent besides. Lo somech.

A further stringency is that to be fully kosher, porcelain may not be used for at least twelve months to remove all doubt. From the end of the last chag till the beginning of this one is less, so for all sets of plates you should have duplicates for alternate years, which implies that there was a column of U-hauls stretching from Mitzraim to Har Sinai.

Plus leaving that trail of breadcrumbs so that they could find their way out proved to be a bad idea. This, in mittn drinnen, is also the logic behind tashlich (*).

[Why does one use a feather during bedikas chometz? Because of the birds that ate the trail of breadcrumbs.]

(*) Reb Yonasson again: "nothing explains tashlich. It's like the para adumah. Faith alone buddy." But chazzal disagrees: "farkert! It's like the shrubberies! One slightly higher so you have a two level effect! With a path down the middle."



Note also that your in-laws qualify as your imma v'av melacha. So having either seder by them is assur. Unless they agree to keep silent. Just shut up. It's supposed to be a happy occasion, nu?



Your festive meal must include these three things: a kezayis each of dry hard flatbread, jelly fruit, and coconut macaroon. All of which taste better with chrein. Mamesh.



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