Sunday, March 20, 2022

DOES IT MELT?

While returning home work from on the bus yesterday I got into a brief conversation with an individual who was carrying a box of pizza. On the bus. We have pizza in this city. So, why?
From which I learned two things: 1) Avoid random conversations with people, especially if they are doing something odd. 2) As a meat eater, I am an extremely unlikeable man.

That first one is the most important. In the Bay Area, very many people do stuff which is odd. The chances are that they are in their own way too judgemental for comfort, damned well downright Puritanical, and they may rattle a bit when they walk from all the loose screws. Random conversations almost always lead to strange places. Just don't talk to them.
Avoid catching their eye. Be quiet, composed, and reserved. Just sit.

On the other hand, vegan pizza is a thing.
I'm not sure why. Might be sacramental.
The veganatics plan to take over.
After dinner.


On a list of things that are wrong about me from one to a hundred, eating meat meat might be somewhere at 97 or 98. Somewhere near tobacco, utilizing plastics, gluten tolerance, and disliking The Grateful Dead.
The concept of vegan melted cheese is, to the rational mind, the stuff of nightmares. Horrible. Everyone KNOWS that whales have to die and be rendered for proper cheese, our fromage industry depends on regular Cetacean-American sacrifice. The peace loving revolutionairies at Valley Forge survived because of it! We fought those evil bastards in The South for our right to slaughter big sea-dwelling mammals.

Besides, the strategic grilled pork chop stockpile would shrink if we stopped.
You don't want those Russian bastards to win, do you?
What are you, communist?



There are many things wrong with me. Far too many to mention. And I don't plan to draw up a list from one to a hundred. But feel free to do so yourself. I'm sure you can do it.



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