CARE FOR SOME CHOCOLATE?

Last week I mentioned the pantie demographic among my readers. Today, on a whim, I cruised into an article on SFGate entitled "Proof Panties make you feel sexy, (on your) period". Which is probably not written for males, so I don't expect more than a certain percentage of the people who visit my blog page to cruise in there for a gander.

For the inquisitive but sensitive male reader who quails at certain details, Proof Panties are a product aimed at women. That said, I expect the technology to be applied going forward to garments for at least two of the elderly cigar smokers I know. Perphaps all of them.


Key phrases lovingly crafted:

"You’re a lunar-loving demiurge who luxuriates in their own divinity with each cycle of the moon "

[This does not describe anyone I know. At least anyone that I know I know. But I shan't ask.]

"Uterus-haver who becomes a Bloaty Fart Gremlin shrouded in a den of blankets and Dove chocolate wrappers "

[The term "bloaty fart gremlin" has a certain charm. It should be on a tee-shirt.]

"Pads are either so thick I’m reduced to waddling like a crinkly duck in a diaper, or they’re so thin that they’re about as absorbent as a post-it note "

[I can now hear her walking.]

"This underwear works "

[Mine does too. But unlike hers, what I wear doesn't do combat duty.]

"An adorable extra lip of lace hem that extends flirtily down the outer thigh only, giving you a cute detail without it chafing in the inner thigh or crotch "

[Not a feature of most men's undergarments. Should it? Leave your comment pro or con.]

"Each year, approximately 19 billion pads and tampons are discarded each year, creating an environmental hazard and putting wildlife in danger. Save a turtle, wear a panty "

[There's a floating island in the Pacific the size of Alaska composed entirely of spent plastic bags, tampons, and pads. Oh wait, that IS Alaska!]

"Barring heavy physical activity however, it's period panties all the way "

[A brave new world men can only imagine. Might change the face of professional football.]


On a final note, I must mention that thanks to a lovely book about human biology meant for an older audience which I read when I was eight or nine, I knew all about the menstrual period early on. Exposure to it had to wait several years.

And I was in my thirties before I understood how important chocolate was.
I am surprised human civilization lasted that long.



AFTER THOUGHT

By "cigar smokers" are meant people who smoke cigars, which are rolled up tobacco leaves. A filler of high quality bunched aged tobacco which has not been shredded and consequently will not fall apart and burns slower; a binder leaf which is fairly sturdy and often spicier; and an outside (wrapper) leaf that frequently has a pleasant aroma (and contributes roughly thirty percent of the flavour) as well as aesthetic appeal. The term "elderly cigar smokers" refers to crusty old farts who often have confused and eccentric thought processes, from whom their nearest and dearest require frequent distance in order to put up with them.

Chocolate would benefit them immensely too.
And it soothes the palate.

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