Wednesday, August 31, 2022

AMERICAN SENIOR BENEFITS AGENTS

It must be open enrollment time again; the number of phone callers identifying themselves as contacting me from "American Senior Benefits" in the last several weeks has been incredible. And I have to give it to them, their telemarketing scam operation has hired the most diverse team in history. Men, women. Filippino and Indian staffers included in bucket loads.

Inividuals from all across the country, all possible backgrounds.

Desperate to get at people's personal details.

Such splendid enthusiasm!


Eight of the hosebags this morning. Godverdomme!


Very well then. Here goes:

This blogger is a black teenage lesbian who voted for Trump because she likes seeing the Republican Party slowly, agonizingly, self-distruct. She banks at Well Fargo, where she has multiple money laundering accounts, and owns a spacious ranch style suburban house as well as a fully equiped trailer on a sandlot, where meth is made.

Oh, and she's an antivaxxer running for the school board in Marin, former shaman and yoga instructor. Very spiritual, a vegan, into natural fabrics, kombucha, and ayahuasca.

Om, baby, om.

Personal mantra: Juicy burgers, crispy fries, and decadent milkshakes.
My 'happy place' is luxuriously wallpapered with inspirational posters from the seventies and eighties. Kittens in predicaments everywhere!


Meanwhile, from SFGate, this happy blurble:

Folsom Street Fair, Sept. 25

The legendary clothing-optional street fair that draws 200,000 fetish players from around the world is back for its 39th year — and what organizers are dubbing their “daddy phase.” The world-famous (and in some circles, infamous) fair is a celebration of all things leather, kink, BDSM and fetish with a mission to create a safe and inclusive space for alt-sex communities while centering equity for BIPOC and LGBTQ+ people.

[ENDCITE]


Oh, it will be fabulous! Low cost medical, funeral, and burial plans, covering one hundred percent of bagging me up and shoving me in a woodchipper. And an all-wood casket, which my survivors can use for stylish interior design projects or show and tell at school.
It's multipurpose and fully recyclable!

No, I'm not telling you my age.
I'm still young, bitch.



In other news, John who lives in Smyrna, is keen to show everyone his eggs.
John is older than I am. His eggs are fabulous. Not my favourite shape, but I appreciate his passion. He's already retired, him you should be calling. He'd cuss you out good though. As a former research librarian and a college graduate (besides living in the South), he knows opportunistic crap when he hears it, and can give you an earful about your scam targeting gullible old folks. I would love to hear what he tells you.


See you at the fair.



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