Back in the good old days, Baby Oil was made with at least sixty three percent real baby. Then childcare became common, and the supplies dried up. Sad. Nowadays it's mostly harp seal. Oh, and Puppy Seed Cake, guess what? Puppies! That, too, is a thing of the past. I probably don't need to tell you about Camel Cigarettes, we've all tasted how horribly they've changed since the fifties.
And that, boys and girls, is why no one wants me as a babysitter.
Besides, they're uncomfortable to sit on. So it's a good thing.
Also, I'm likely to read them bed time stories that will keep them up all night. Which makes them much quieter the next day.
So really, you'd should thank me.
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