WE CAN WIN THIS!

Elect ME president, and I will nationalize the toilet paper industry. For too long, greedy Capitalists have benefited from the poor assholes of America, but when I am president, every American family will have enough toilet paper for an entire army of assholes!

Comrades, since time immemorial Americans have worried about their pooh; but no more. The assholes of America demand justice! With floral designs and impregnated with skin-soothing lotion!

Do not fear pooh, America.
Embrace it!

I'm sorry, but this trailer park fascination with recreational defecation is quite beyond me. Six months from now rolls of teepee will be available at garage sales, or used at bonfires.


Once this is over, the bankers will end up with all the toilet paper anyhow.




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