Friday, March 20, 2020


Perhaps you recall my mentioning that one of the side effects of the blood pressure medication I am taking is that dreams are more vibrant, more intense. At least for me; some folks get nightmares. When I woke up it was with a dream in my head involving a little girl, and a lovely bowl of tobacco in one of my pipes, engaged in conversation with a middle-aged dude in a hospital about his pipe, an artisanal handcrafted item which, apparently, was a very fine smoke. Not my style, but I didn't tell him so.

The little tyke was saying to a nurse that, honestly, she didn't mind the two old fossils smoking, at least they were quiet.

Pipe smokers do tend to be somewhat "quieter".

But she was exaggerating.

Put two of us pipe smokers together in a hospital, or a bakery with a lovely selection of pastries and hot tea, and we might not shut up.

Which, of course, explains why the nurse was upset. Not only were we blowing stinky smoke all over her nice clean hospital, but she had brought us tea along with refills for our I.V. drips, and we just wouldn't keep still.
In fact we had every intention of being co-operative, and were planning to roll ourselves out to the alleyway opposite the hospital entrance so we wouldn't bother any one. "Don't mind us, we'll just be over there with our drips and tea trays, if you need us, just holler. And yes, he's smoking a Balkan Blend, which purifies the air and benefits the humours. The kid doesn't mind."
The kid is nodding in agreement.

The prospect of breaking all the rules with two adults who, seemingly, don't give a damn, and look like they might be in some way authoritative (because of their pipes and inherent gravitas) pleases her.

It is quite likely that she'll also be amenable to being sent to the nearby bakery for a box of egg tarts. One for me, one for the other pipe smoker, one or two for her, and even one for the stressed-out nurse.
Plus one or two for other hospital staff.

Hospitals, it is well known, do not excel in making tea. Surely someone can grab that box of tea bags, pop an extra one into the cup, and zap it in a microwave?

Hospitals also don't have ashtrays. So we HAVE to wheel ourselves out; it's for the good of everybody.

Surely you can trust me, I have 'gravitas'.
Do you see my pipe?

PS. As of this writing, there are 14,631 confirmed cases of Trump's Disease (covid 19) in the United States (210 deaths). And a toilet paper shortage.


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