Sunday, March 29, 2020


Other than shopping and unwise congregating, you anti-smokers have no reason to leave the house. And it is good that you stay inside. Eventually we'll discover your dessicated corpses surrounded by empty vegan cookie boxes, your French Bulldog will have nibbled at your toes and fastidiously decided "Bleagh! Tasteless!". He's whimpering near the rusty exercise equipment.

[You bought it years ago, to be 'healthy'. But then you decided to have macrobiotic high-fibre gluten-free crackers instead, and surely that was good enough? Plus you rubbed your adipose areas with 'healing crystals', and meditated. Good lord, you were saintly!]

We smokers, however, live with other people. Real human beings. In decent consideration for whom we thoughtfully step outside for up to an hour at a time, so that we may smoke in all kinds of weather without bothering the individuals to whom we are close.

[Fresh air! Just begging for a bit of pollution. Isn't there a school nearby? Those kids should smell what the world was like decades ago. It will give them much needed perspective.]

We would bother you folks. But since you ate your entire quarantine stockpile of cookies in the first three days, you felt fat, and didn't leave the house.

[Oh hey. We bought bacon. Tofu goes great with bacon. And hot sauce. Plus chives and a little shrimp paste. Maybe we should sprinkle some cheese from happy cows on top for good karma?]

We've satisfied our oral cravings differently.

It rained a lot today. Evenso, I went out to "enjoy" the very European weather we're having. After each pipeful a warm beverage was required.
Coffee. Tea. Tea. Tea. Coffee.

My apartment mate spent all day inside watching Bat Masterson (tv series, 1958 to 1961) and drinking hot chocolate while plonking on her computer and talking to the stuffed turkey vulture. Who is anxious to consume some cadavers.

When all of you blistery anti-smokers have croaked, all alone in your bleak little health-freaky apartments, the turkey vulture will be useful in sniffing out your corpses. But he'd rather eat pizza than spongy tasteless dead vegans.

The reason why you don't see many turkey vultures in San Francisco is all the vegans, anti-smokers, and exercise nuts. It's very sad.
Bring back the wild life.

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