Tuesday, March 17, 2020

FRESH AND PRE-PUTRID

Sometime in the past few hours the United States crossed the six thousand mark, and we're now at over one hundred deaths. Sadly for Donald Trump, we're nowhere near China, and not even close to Italy.
We are not number one.

Go on, I can hear y'all chanting 'Muricca, Muricca!' over there in Trailerparkistan. But you'll have to face the facts eventually.


Over here in SF, where nearly everyone is enjoying an enforced vacation and wondering how the hell we'll pay rent, Saint Patrick's Day celebrations of a different type than usual are in full swing. Bars are closed. Some people stocked up on marijuana and whiskey. The homeless street-living psychos are now the majority out in public, as everyone else stays home.

We're posting gallows-humour memes.
And planning tropical cruises.


My apartment mate has also been asked to stay home, despite her work being health-care related clerical, and so, theoretically, functioning during this crisis. Which means that the Turkey Vulture of Happiness is vocal.
And almost oppressively full of beans.

SYDNEY FYLBERT


The Turkey Vulture of Happiness ('Sydney Fylbert') hopes that the imaginary little girl hamster ('Clarissa') who looks appetizingly like a meatball ("mmm, juicy!") comes over for a visit. And will either bathe for a while in a red wine reduction with bay leaves and peppercorns, OR lead the other stuffed creatures in boogie-woogie conga.

I am not part of this. I disapprove of the concept of hamsters steeped in any kind of sauce, and I don't dance.


Sydney Fylbert is worried that the virus will render him an orphan, and we've been gently reassuring him that no matter what happens, there will always be someone who loves him and will feed him cadavers (he thinks ice cream is a cadaver). So it's been an interesting period sofar, as his view of the world is, necessarily, surrealistic. Given that he is an immature turkey vulture living among non-corpse eaters.

He's also asked to come along if I go out shopping for dead bodies.
"Ooh, I'll take that one, and that one, and a little bit there".
"No unwashed ones, please. They're too ripe."
"Nor Republicans; they smell bad!"


He has also sweetly offered to assist with the clean up. What with being one of nature's waste removal experts. And, as it turns out, an essential service and useful member of the community.



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