Wednesday, March 04, 2020

BLEACH, TOILET PAPER, AND SOUP

As you would expect, this blogger will discount and poo-poo all the sensible advice from well-informed concerned people and head right into the Chinese quarter today for lunch, risking very likely infection by even seeing Chinese people or touching tables, chairs, and cutlery, in their restaurants. Rather than immediately asking for bitter melon omelette over rice (涼瓜煎蛋飯 'leung gwaa jin daan faan') at one of my favourite chachantengs (茶餐廳) on Stockton Street, I shall demand the dish they never put on the English language menu. Which I am sure that they have.
Because I watch Fox News.


"Bat soup may be delicious to certain people, but unfortunately bats are the worlds greatest reservoir for viruses. What are we gonna do about China? What are we gonna do about a totalitarian dictatorship where it's okay to sell live virus infected bats in open air market places, and then have business travel and tourist travel between that country and the civilized world?"
------ Fox News guest, economist Don Luskin



蝙蝠、葉鼻蝠、狐蝠。

水果蝙蝠湯

Without Fox News I would not know that colloidal silver and gargling with bleach kills the corona virus. And that bat soup may be delicious. Or that the corona virus is all a giant hoax designed in a bio-war lab to make the stock market tank, so that Donald Trump looks bad. But it's all totally under control, you can rest easy. Colloidal silver, bleach gargle, warm weather in April, vitamin C, the keto diet, and only fifteen cases.

"We have contained this, we have contained this. I won't say 'air tight' but pretty close to air tight."
------ White House National Economic Council Director Larry Kudlow

Seriously, think about gargling with bleach.
Please don't buy the bargain brands.
They're weak and don't work.
Totally ineffective!

Thankyou Lord Jesus that vice-president Mike Pence is in charge, a decent god-fearing Christian. Because otherwise we'd be screwed.
Don't forget to stock up on apple cider vinegar.
In addition to bleach.

Meanwhile, I'll be finding out if fruitbat soup (水果蝙蝠湯 'seui gwo pin fok tong') is indeed delicious, after I go out to purchase several bottles of high grade bleach, and lots of toilet paper.

"In April it dies with the hotter weather. When you have fifteen people, and the fifteen within a couple of days will be close to zero, we're way ahead with the corona virus."
------ Iranian Health Minister Sayid Namaki

Bat soup may be exquisite. I don't know. I'll find out, and tell you about it. Coconut milk, cherry tomatoes, soy sauce, ginger, garlic, and hot peppers. This per the Daily Star, England's most reliable newspaper, trusted by thousands. At least fifteen people.


Never leave home without an extra roll of toilet paper.
It might save your life some day.




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