Wednesday, June 15, 2022


Are muffins ever truly necessary? I suppose for people who are contipated they are probably a blessing, but for a minority of Americans who do not dine on fried starchy crap all the time and included at last some vegetables other than ketchup in their diet, muffins are a monumental masticatory waste of time. Besides being altogether nasty.

The two young American-born gentlemen having baked porkchops over spaghetti bolognese covered with melted cheese a la Hong Kong at the restaurant yesterday might need muffins this morning. Or not. Depends on their digestive enzymes.

As a cheese-eating Dutchman, that amount of dairy would clobber me.
Bear in mind that I do indeed love cheese.
But still.
Cheese. God's gift to American food. That and bacon. And barbecue-flavour. Plus the donut. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Most Americans would jump on a cheese donut for breakfast.
Instead of the necessary sawdust muffin.
Fibres! Regularity.

There is an entire aisle at Walgreens that testifies to the yummy goodness that Americans eat. Indigestive aids, pink liquids, softeners, bowel tonics, acid-neutralizing fizzy chemicals, red pills, green pills, and softgel capsules.

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