SEVEN HUNDRED BILLION IN POCKET-MONEY
From news articles, and reading between the lines:
Bush warns over bail-out delay.
[Translation: "My friends are going belly up! How can you not care?!?!"]
US President George W Bush warned the US economy is at a 'critical moment', and vowed to ram his Wall Street rescue plan through Congress.
[Like the Patriot Act?]
He said the consequences would be 'painful and lasting' if the $700 billion deal rejected by the US House of Representatives was not passed.
He offered reassurances to citizens of the US and wider world that the current political deadlock would be resolved.
[Of course it will. But not necessarily the way he would like.]
The New York stock market opened with prices up after Mr Bush's statement. The Dow Jones index was about 2% higher in initial trading, rebounding from Monday's record losses.
[Hot air is good for business - who knew?]
In Brussels, the European Union earlier urged Washington to live up to its special responsibility and demonstrate statesmanship to resolve the global credit crisis.
[Translation: "If you Yanks don't act, all of us Europeans will suffer, because we jumped into the American market like a bunch of piranhas devouring a horse. It was good for our pension funds, central banks, investment companies - we profited from your lack of regulation, but heck, why should we pay for the risks we took? So please, screw the American taxpayers!
If you don't, our people will start asking questions that we can't answer, they might even be very upset with us, and they too think that the American taxpayer should be screwed."]
For the second time in as many days on Tuesday, Western European governments stepped in to prop up an ailing financial institution. The French and Belgian governments rescued the Franco-Belgian financial services group, Dexia, with a package totaling more than $9bn. Dexia's share price had fallen sharply following reports that it was seeking extra funds after governments bailed out its rival, Fortis. [Rabbosai, maybe this will teach you to be more careful and responsible in the future. If it does, you can all be a shining example to our own rapacious bankers and Texans - and they might actually pay attention, now that they've realized that greed alone does not guarantee wealth and respect.]
President Bush said: "We are in an urgent situation and the consequences will grow worse each day if we do not act,"
[Right, giving in to extortion by the same gangsters who got us into this mess is the solution.]
"This is not the end of the legislative process. Our country is not facing a choice between government action and the smooth functioning of the free market,"
[The market will continue to function, smoothly, but at a more realistic level - and that means electoral disaster for the people who told y'all to merrily spend yourselves into cloud-cuckoo land. You might loose the SUV you can't afford along with that suburban neo-Tudor ranch, which you couldn't afford either. That private school for your two little delinquents? Sorry, you're gonna have to finally face-up to the trainwreck we've made of public education in this country; you though it was just a deserved screwing of the urban poor, didn't you?]
"We're facing a choice between action and the real prospect of economic hardship for millions of Americans."
[The middle-classes might have to pay their credit-card bills, and realize that they were not financially stable enough for that mortgage. And that would be horrible - it would finally make it clear to them that sharks gutted the American dream, and bribed them with their own money. Might actually make them think. And that would be very dangerous.]
Republican presidential candidate John McCain said he was disappointed at the "lack of resolve" shown by both parties in the US House of Representatives.
"The whole spectrum of Main Street America's economy is going to be jeopardized unless we pass this legislation. And we didn't do a good enough job selling it."
[Dude, main street died years ago - ever since Walmart opened up down the road and sucked the life out of every small retailer from here to Timbuktoo. Have you driven down main street lately? Alcoholics and boarded up storefronts. Except for that stretch near McDonalds...., you know, the part of town with the Starbucks, Boo King, Jack in the Box, Pet-Groomers, Jogging Shoe chain-emporia, and nail-salons run by Vietnamese women rotting their nervous systems breathing solvents while pandering to the self-indulgence of suburban white women.]
Both the president and the two gentlemen who hope to succeed him in January are under pressure to show leadership amid the partisan bickering which has followed the bill's failure.
[Leadership? Hooha. Try less pandering to special interests, more actual thoughtfulness. You guys would be surprised what "main street" America really thinks of you and your whore-like behaviour.]
The candidates both backed lifting the limit on bank deposit insurance from the present $100,000 to $250,000 to prevent any run on commercial banks.
[Really, boys, how many people do you know have that kinda poon in their account? Oh, sorry, I forgot - y'all ain't dealing with real Americans, but with the people who can afford to shell out several thousand for the pleasure of dining with you at fundraising soirees.]
Republicans and Democrats are blaming each other over the failed bill, which was rejected by 228 to 205 votes in the House of Representatives on Monday.
[Well, at least some of those turkeys blew a fat raspberry at the thugs trying to railroad us into paying for their stupidity. Bravo.]
The House is not due to meet again until Thursday as many members have gone home for a Jewish holiday.
[Sollst alln hobn a gezunte, ziesse, und gebentshte rosheshone, le shana tova tikasevu ve sechasemu, le chayim tovim u le shalom, be sifran shel politikim gamurim.]
As you may have gathered, I am not heavily vested in bailing out Wall Street - far less so than many Europeans, in fact. I've got more of an emotional stake in seeing some hangings.