THE WRONG FOOT

Went down to SF Chinese Hospital for a routine appointment today -- everything is fine, don't worry, they just needed to confirm for the record that I am still alive (plus a review of CT scan a while back, discussion of pills, flu shot, when is my third covid vax booster, etc.) -- followed by a scrumptious lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant in the neighborhood; juicy char-grilled pork, and veggies plus an imperial roll over cold rice noodles, with tamarind liquid, fish sauce, and chilies (烤豬肉凍米粉 'haau jyu yiuk dong mai fan').

The medical professional who saw me today at the clinic had come to SF Chinatown from somewhere on the East Coast only seven years ago, and didn't know that we once had FIVE active movie theatres in the neighborhood. What I did not mention was that you could smoke in the back three rows of all of them at one point; spent many happy hours puffing at the Pagoda Palace watching Chow Yunfat in gangster movies, having snacks, smoking again ...... the medical profession does NOT need to know that movies might be 'unhealthy'.

What we also did not discuss, because it's not strictly speaking germane, is benign prostate enlargment. There are THREE parts of the male human body that keep growing throughout ones life: the hair, the nose, and the prostate, which doesn't resemble the first two mentioned.
So the reason why people rarely open up the casket to get another look at their dear departed uncle years after he's croaked is because he's not as they remember him; the hair is long and hippie-like, the nose is poking holes in the lid, and there is a threatening bulbous glowing orb pulsating lower down sending off 5G radiation and communicating with the mother ship.
Trust me on this. I've seen the youtube videos!
Women will not have that problem.
I did my own research.


Yes, we talked about food. Restaurants that disappeared years ago -- like Sun Wah Kue (新華僑餐廳) on the corner of Ross alley, famous for their orange chiffon pie -- and coffee, milk tea, Hong Kong, chachantengs, plus current places. Also mentioned were Kai Tak Airport (啟德機場 'kai tak kei-cheung'), and movie theatres (戲院 'hei yuen'.

The best part of the whole afternoon was observing the elderly couple at health services ahead of me blowing their gaskets. Angrily snapping that the woman trying to help them didn't know how to read computers OR calendars. What WAS this world coming to? Young people! And kvetch, bellyache, vociferate. It turned out that they needed to be upstairs, but it took twenty fascinating minutes for that to be established. While it was going on I explained to two Cantonese speakers that the line was there, not here, and it might take a while.

The chance of something entertaining happening at hospitals is why I show up early for all my medical appointments. I am not rushed, and I can mentally take notes. Besides, I haven't yet reached an age where Chinese people are scared to tell me anything for fear of irrationality, senility, or weepy emotional outbursts. Not that that is inevitable at any age; I hope to be a sensible man into my nineties (got a late start, haven't even approached that stage yet).


Forgot to mention to the professional who saw me that crappy joints (arthritis 關節炎 'gwaan jit yim'), especially in my right leg, are a pain the .......! Literally. Entire foot, knee, and hip.

If, sometimes, I am crabby, it's because I am less than overjoyed to be in agony.
But I flatter myself that I disguise it pretty damned well.
Being a diplomat makes life easier.


The leg, most particularly the foot, has been quite insufferable for five days running now.
It's insisting that it's right, I know it's wrong, and I wish it would stop that.



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