Tuesday, April 28, 2020

AN INFESTATION OF WILD LIFE

Because of Covid 19, wild life is returning to its old haunts in urban areas, and in some cases taking over. There are no humans to frighten the beasts away. Soon we'll see whales in the streets of San Francisco, paddling uphill on their stubby little pink flippers, ineffective because they're holding on to family size bags of cheese and chili barbecue chips. It's for energy.
The giant box of barbecue chicken nuggets was not enough.
They must have more meat!

If we're not careful, they will eat us. We look just like cheese burgers.

I advocate harpooning them and harvesting their blubber.

It is too late to force them to diet.

Save humanity.


The gymns and yoga studios have been closed for six weeks, but food delivery services are booming. Exercise equipement lies idle, gathering cobwebs, little poisonous creatures nesting in the ergonomic angled metal structures. Fleas, ticks, brown recluse spiders, leeches, and possibly elk.

Cleanse these places with fire.

Pass the ranch dressing.

Praise the load.




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