TOO MANY SPEECHES, AND FINGERS!
And his wisdom. And perspicacity. And beautiful delicate hands.
Personally, I don't get it. His hands are indeed small, but kind of pudgy, and those little stubby fingers are obscene. They resemble wobbly little Vienna sausages, fresh out of the can, with the congealed broth jelly still adhering, that you would never want touching you, and fondling you all over, creepily palpitating, and massaging your ...
But they do. Passionately.
Scott Baio, Chris Cox, Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, Chris Christie, Tiffany Trump, Doctor Ben Carson,
Here is a condensed version of everything.
WE LOVE YOU!
The reality was worse. Much worse.
For a nearly ten minute foretaste of the final evening's giddy festivities at the 2016 Republican National Convention, AND what four years of Trump as president of the United States and Commander in Chief would be like, let me present the following:
NET WEIGHT: 1.42 KILOS
Congealed fat, and goo.
Donald Trump's fingers.
Only YOU can prevent a tangerine-faced ferret-wearing cocksplat from becoming president. Just remember that.
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