Friday, July 01, 2016

DON'T TELL ME ABOUT YOUR RICH ASS

It is a matter of no import to me that either part of you, or your pet donkey, is loaded with money. This is San Francisco, Bubba, and we're egalitarian here. One step away from being an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We're thinking of hunting you down with pitchforks.

Unfortunately, our supply of pitchforks is running low.

We're traditionalists, so the pitchforks are essential.


It may not suprise you that I am completely in support of open-carry laws for pitchforks. A well-regulated mob is nothing without them. And it is virtually impossible to commit mass-murder armed with only farm-equipment. Although if it ever happens, the perpetrator will undoubtedly be some dingo living in his mom's basement who doesn't have a girlfriend, other than someone imaginary.

There are several people on whom I should wish to employ a pitchfork. Some of them are far too well-off, and thoroughly undeserving of such good fortune.


But I am a man of peace, and I have no pitchfork.


Sometimes I feel that something is lacking.



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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://www.policemag.com/channel/patrol/news/2016/07/01/wisconsin-officer-fatally-shoots-man-advancing-on-him-with-pitchfork.aspx

The back of the hill said...

Except for the fact that he was probably whacked out of his Wisconsin gourd, he was a martyr for the cause.

We shall grieve his passing.

He would've been fun to read more about in future adventures.

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