DON'T TELL ME ABOUT YOUR RICH ASS
Unfortunately, our supply of pitchforks is running low.
We're traditionalists, so the pitchforks are essential.
It may not suprise you that I am completely in support of open-carry laws for pitchforks. A well-regulated mob is nothing without them. And it is virtually impossible to commit mass-murder armed with only farm-equipment. Although if it ever happens, the perpetrator will undoubtedly be some dingo living in his mom's basement who doesn't have a girlfriend, other than someone imaginary.
There are several people on whom I should wish to employ a pitchfork. Some of them are far too well-off, and thoroughly undeserving of such good fortune.
But I am a man of peace, and I have no pitchfork.
Sometimes I feel that something is lacking.
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