ANOTHER GREAT WHITE MAN SHOWS YOU HOW IT'S DONE

Remember The Last Samurai? That was a 2003 movie in which some doofus white guy becomes a super Jap after the American Civil War. The premise behind a movie like that is typically Hollywood, and based on the assumption that a whole bunch of moist-in-their-panties twenty-something white chicks won't watch an Asian man doing something spectacular, and an equivalent number of teenage white boys of all ages cannot possibly identify with a macho studmuffin doing boffo sh*t who is of another race.

So, Tom Cruise ends up saving the poor little Japanese from themselves and ushering in a golden age of modernization, or some such crap.

The Karate Kid for grown-ups.

Fast forward.


THE GREAT WALL

Quote from Angry Asian Man:

"Directed by Zhang Yimou, and touted as the most expensive Chinese movie of all time, the movie stars a long-haired Matt Damon alongside Chinese superstars like Andy Lau, Luhan and Jing Tian, in a crazy-ass smoke and spears and fire and arrows battle on the Great Wall against fire-breathing dragons."

"you can set a story anywhere in the world, in any era of history, and Hollywood will still somehow find a way for the movie to star a white guy."

[SOURCE: MATT DAMON SAVES CHINA!]


Guys? Hey guys!?! If I really want to see a cheesecake white guy do some splendid sh*t, I'll watch Tarzan, okay?!?

That, or 'Pygmy Island'.


I can think of at least a dozen Cantonese actors who are one hundred times better than Matt Damon. Obviously they're writing this for a white audience that creams all over their seats every time they see Matt Damon, so does he at least take his clothes off?

Apparently this stinker is set to open in February next year.

I can't wait to avoid it like the plague.

Y'all are nuts.




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