ARE THEY ALL OKAY?

You've seen the video. Almost everybody has. A woman who claims to be of Italian heritage dumps cold spaghetti sauce on her kitchen island, adds meatballs and boiled pasta, something which may be supermarket Parmesan cheese, and mixed salad with bottled Italian dressing on top and alongside, and claims it's a delicious way of feeding party guests.
So brilliant, so convenient. The best.

Some white people cannot and should not cook.

I do. But I don't video tape it. Today's dinner was shrimp curry with sautéed bokchoi over Hong Kong egg noodles. Followed by tea and a pipeful of aged red Virginias with a touch of Perique.

There are also pipe smoking videos on you tube. I've never bothered watching, because, as you probably understand, life is short and I already know about smoking my pipe.

You select a pipe from your collection. You fill it with a pipe tobacco, which could be either something commercially available, or your own blend. Light it, tamp down, wander around the neighborhood avoiding maskless bozos and healthnuts. Talking is absolutely not required, and may diminish the pleasure of a contemplative solitary smoke. Then you return home and have another cup of tea while cursing the horrible cold weather we're having, which must mean that it's unseasonably hot inland and the fire season will probably start a month or two earlier this year, and burn-up more of suburban California oh what a pity they'll have to leave the state Miami beckons along with Texas goodbye.


I'm surprised she didn't add pineapple chunks to the mess on her marble-topped kitchen island. Somehow it seemed like it would belong. Along with Vienna sausages and little umbrellas.

If you really want to entertain properly, the best party dish is the national food of Scandinavia: Flygande Jacob (Flying Jacob), a traditional casserole of chicken, cream, chili sauce, sliced bananas, peanuts, and bacon, with a little dried oregano. Served alongside fluffy rice and Ikea meatballs. Nothing says groovy, dude, like this traditional Arctic dish, or encourages the consumption of akvavit quite so well.

In Sweden, pizza is topped with bananas, curry powder, peanuts, chicken, ham, and raisins. In Norway, corn and little shrimp, often with a dollop of sour cream. There's also pizza made with canned cream of mushroom soup.


Did I already say that some white people cannot and should not cook?

It might need to be stressed again. Repeatedly.

I worry about people.




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