Tuesday, December 15, 2020

THE CRIME, AND THE SCENE OF IT

Over on one of the pipe smoker pages, someone asked "how about a sub-group for Erinmore? The upwardly mobile could leave when cured." Now I think that's a SPLENDID idea. But not everybody is on board. Naturally I am; I'm in touch with the leprechaun within.
Some people are not so blessed.
Erinmore Flake is undeservedly notorious. Manly men who smoke their pipes too fast, and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near flake tobaccos anyway, have been reduced to children vomitting their guts out halfway through a bowl. Smoked slowly, it is quite good.

Erinmore Flake is mostly Virginia, with a touch of Burley and dark leaf.

Rumour has it that Erinmore Flake was developed from an Irish plague doctor's nosegay in the bowels of Calcutta during the outbreak of 1898. In the same way, Ennerdale Flake derives from efforts of an English nobleman after discovering that his country estate was being infested by unwashed sailors, and Dunhill blends were Alfred's attempts to keep the hoi polloi at bay.

I can reveal trade secrets like this because one of my own favourite tobacco blends was once regrettably described as "reminiscent of an unwashed flatulent peasant hung in a mediaeval torture dungeon".


I have more Erinmore Flake stashed for a rainy day than the flatulent peasant.
And I intend to enjoy it.
It's good stuff.



NOTE: The roundish thing immediately above the tin of Erinmore Flake is NOT somebody's dispossessed testicle, as you might think, but a dried rambutan. Nephelium lappaceum.
I feel I must stress this.



TOBACCO INDEX


==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================

No comments:

Search This Blog

THE SMARTNESSES

Sometimes, out of the corner of your ear, you hear something that tingles. While we were eating she mentioned that she admired crows because...