Monday, December 07, 2020

BECAUSE, SCIENCE!

With Rudy Giulinani in the hospital for Covid, now is the time to perform unseemly experiments on him. Because Scientific minds want to know: when he farted recently, was there an infection risk for the bystanders in the room? Well, bysitters.

Put him on valium and a ventilator, flip him onto his stomach as you usually do to unconscious patients hooked up to breathing aparatus, and intravenously feed him intestinal gas inducing chemicals. Then place open petri dishes at measured distances from the nether orifice and check them for live covid cultures once the desired effects have been achieved.

Note down times, nearness to rump, and virus density.

Publish the results in a medical journal.

He's a public spirited man.

And won't object.



As of this writing, there is no known ill effect on virusses from blasts of methane. Provided that there is also sufficient oxygen. His brain ain't using it, there should be plenty.




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