MORNING BREATH

Videos of cats and other furry creatures are addictive. Creatures I have observed with great pleasure from my apartmental perch (teevee room, back of building) in recent days have been felines, foxes, red pandas, adopted skunks, crows, and a large Australian huntsman spider.
That last one does not trigger my arachnophobia, because it is several thousand miles away, on the other side of the planet entirely.
Cats are adorable.

They're probably spies for our alien overlords.

A version of a self-ambulatory 'elf on a shelf'. Slightly less creepy and stalkerish, and far better to have in the house than a tattle-tale who reports on your behaviour to a pervert in a red bathrobe armed with bribes.


"For the tenth day in a row, the useless biped refused to eat the deceased rodent I placed on his bed. Today I forced him to."


As the observing army for outer-space invaders, they are largely useless. They have their own agenda, and are obsessed with warm spots. Fat lot of good that will do. "Earth is littered with patches of sun. In between vast tracts of cold and darkness. The edible substances exist plentifully in four forms: wet, dry, panicky, and sock. The last one is the most exiting."


Unlike dogs, who must be walked to poo, cats are more practical and less exhibitionistic. Which is something you understand early in the morning when you're outside with a pipe.
They're also better than children in that regard.
But just as lousy at college.





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