Monday, November 28, 2022


One of the things I really enjoy after a few days at work is NOT being on my feet all day. On working days when I go to bed the pedestrial part of me keeps me from falling asleep till one or two hours after going to bed -- twitch, throb, ache, and twinge -- during which time the legs are not worth living with. Circulatory issues. This is not something I wish to share with my coworkers, as I do not want them to think of me as a cripple. Which I'm not; the equipment just isn't in optimum shape anymore. This Dutchman is not as springy as he used to be.

The autumn of the body is a long drawn-out pissy grumble fit.

I am amazed at the energy of little children.

How do the little buggers do it?

Youth equals energy.

Oh yeah, no arthritis or wear and tear either. There's a gland that continuously provides the little pissants with sugar too, non-stop. Plus they've got rabies. If there ever is a zombie apocalypse, we'll have to shoot the small ones first; the older ones we can outrun.
Kids faced with the scene above would look forward to adventure and rambunctiously go off in several directions, happy to explore and face the bugs, dead leaves, broken branches, or build tree forts and whack each other with sticks. Adults know that there's a bear around that corner, plus poison ivy and a hungry mountain lion. Possibly rattle snakes. Okay, nice scene, but it might rain, and this is best enjoyed from a comfortable hostelry with strong cups of tea and hot scones. There are probably perverts and escaped convicts in those woods. And redneck hunters who will shoot at everything that moves. Let's go home.

Like poison ivy, little kids are best enjoyed from a safe distance. Fortunately as a crabby middle aged pipe smoker I do not have to worry about anybody dumping their offspring into my custody; I'd probably expose them to mediaeval genocides, matured Virginia flakes and other pipe tobaccos, chili peppers, and history books written by crusty old farts in European languages. Things which will occupy my mind today. I see no reason why little children should not know the joys of these things precisely like an adult.

Kid, did you know that if John Rolfe had not smuggled tobacco seeds into Virginia from the West Indies, the colony would never have had a cash crop to sustain itself? Without tobacco, the United States would probably not have come into existence, and no one would ever have had Happy Meals, ever. Now lets head out to a junkfood place for a snack.
Hot grease, garlic powder and salt, plus condiments!

Your parents do not need to know about this.
Care for a cappucino?

Your Dutch uncle is not a suitable babbysitter.
But you already knew that.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.

No comments:

Search This Blog


One of my earliest grammar school memories naturally involves chocolate. Of which I was fonder than many of my classmates, who preferred Dut...