Monday, October 07, 2019

NO FREAKS, NO FROG VAMPIRES

Something has changed with Facebook: it now repeatedly suggests possible friends, seemingly making choices at random. Four mutual friends, one hundred mutual friends, or no mutual friends; it makes no difference. Two people it wants me to "friend" are people whom I have known for years in real life. One of them is a great cook, but believes in conspiracies and ancient aliens. The other one is a raving Trumpite piece of human excrement but a great guy. Thank you, Facebook, but 'hell no'.

It's almost as if Facebook is desperately trying to be a matchmaker.
In a dispassionate and genderless kind of way.

My friends are mostly men; recently graduated Jewish seminarians, middle aged pipe smokers, engineers and culinarians, very old liberals.


Now, if it looked at all my friends and said "you know what's missing here is a bunch of females in an age-range between college and retirement, who have a realistic approach to life, a sense of humour, adventurous food tastes, have no love lives to speak of, and have the right number of physical parts (like normal human females), and are well-read", it might have considerably better luck.

It's the lively perspectives.


Conceivably better luck. I'm still reluctant to send 'Friend requests'. Gotta check out beliefs, interests, and whether there is any hint of veganism, anti-vax lunacy, fuzzy spirituality, madness, alcoholism, tattoos, horrid smarm, gun nut ism, and rank superstition. Rabies.

Um. Rather like the line in that old song: "the landlady made a speech; she said 'no dogs no cats no kids no guitars no working men allowed ... ' ".

Nurses wielding flu shots, well okay.


In any case. No ancient aliens. No conspiracies. No motorbikes. No guns. No republicans. No christians. No hippies or "artistic" types. No colourful ethnic garb. No spiritual people. No ancient princesses or queens. No anti-vaxers. No mages, viking maidens, wheat grass freaks, gluten-phobes, sages, shamans, psychics, crystal healers, eastern mysticism devotees, alternative medicine men or women, people who have had great epiphanies, or folks who write meaningful poetry. No deadheads. No potheads.

No Hobbits, Pirates, Trekkies, or Jedis.

No Gandalf, no elven spirits.

Maybe just 'no'.




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