Sunday, December 18, 2022

TASTES LIKE FILTHY FARMER -- IT'S FESTIVE!

First thing I did upon returning home from the "office holiday party" was fix myself a cup of coffee. Which remarkably made my feet feel much better. I'm really not social enough to fully optimize enjoyment at parties, especially after a long day babysitting old men who whine a lot about how things are not the same. And, because it's the season, how in the old days you'd just give everybody a carton of smokes in the festive packaging that came out once a year, along with a bottle of Cutty Sark or Beefeater if they were dear to you, and be done with it.

The old days, back when more doctors smoked Camels than any other cigarette. Yes, in a repeated survey, doctors all across the country in all branches of medicine were asked "what cigarette do YOU smoke, doctor?" Not surprisingly, more doctors preferred the smooth rich taste of Camels. Why don't you try Camels for a month, to see what a good tasting cigarette can mean for your smoking enjoyment?

And by the way, I should point out that Camels are gluten-free, lactose-free, low cal, and made on machinery that has NOT been used to process peanuts or any other nut.
And they're vegetarian!


It's also the first night of Chanukah. Sadly, there is no Chanukah pipe tobacco. Nor any tobacco infused with the scent of greasy fried potatoes and onions. Chag sameach anyway.

There are some very nice products that smell like Limburger cheese, plus there's also grape flavoured pipe tobacco (not one iota of tobacco taste, just pure grape soda), key lime tobacco, custard, pumpkin pie, and also Lovecraft themed blends .......

One of the best pipe tobaccos was described years ago as having a tin note like flatulant unwashed peasant hanging in a mediaeval dungeon .......

The unwashed flatulant peasant is actually a stellar product. Still have a small amount of the opened tin left. Will probably finish it indoors after she's left for the day tomorrow.

And obviously the grape soda, key lime, custard, pumpkin pie, and a few of the Lovecraftian mixtures, will be impossible to get in California, because they appeal to kiddiewinkies and we've passed a law. The Limburger cheese and farting peasant are all natural, which according to our Karens means they cannot possibly appeal to the young.

Now that they've banned flavoured tobacco products, we can only give the children the natural stuff for Christmas. Because what else is there?



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