SOME MINOR COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE WEATHER

One of the things I dislike nowadays is cold wet weather. Such as presently the SF Bay Area is experiencing. My tolerance for low temperatures has decreased remarkably in the last three or four years. And of course everyone cheeringly saying "but we need the rain" can go fly a kite. ESPECIALLY if they're in short sleeves or short-legged nether garments. Such as a horribly large number of the "oh aren't I healthy and hardy!" types, of all ages and genders. Gentlepersons, you have insulation. You're overweight.
I am not.

And you have the luxury of staying indoors for ten hours or more at a stretch. Whereas people like me will perforce have to step outside so that we may light up our pipes. Braving the savage elements. Even with a heavy overcoat suited to arctic climes (Canada), that's still not even half pleasant. The cold creeps up and in, eventually penetrating everywhere. Here, let me clutch you to my bony frame, so that I may share the cold with you, and suck up some of your heat and thus myself get warmer while you have a fit of the shivers.
Your sudden blueness is so cute.

You know, there would be far less hypthermia and pneumonia in the world if you let us smoke inside.

Don't you want the world to be a better place?

What are you, heartless?



According to the weather reports it will be cold and rainy for the next eight or nine days. My fellow smokers might freeze to death. And it will be all your fault.

I've got a heavy coat suited to the frigid wastes (Newfoundland, Petropavlovsk, Nobb Hill). Plus warm gloves. And for three months out of the year I wear two pairs of socks at a time.
So I'll probably survive.

Worst comes to worst I can set fire to a nonsmoker and huddle around the glowing corpse.



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