Tuesday, January 19, 2021

IT'S A BEARABLE EXISTENCE

In a town just north of the Arctic circle, where a Norwegian friend lives, there is a Chinese restaurant. How sad! I am imagining a conversation that must take place there every single day: "you just had to leave Hong Kong, didn't you, sh*t it's cold, I want to go somewhere where they have typhoons (hint hint hint), typhoons! Sh*t it's cold, honey if only you actually knew how to cook we could live in Spain or Morocco, sh*t it's cold, steamed whale blubber does NOT taste like proper salt fish stop experimenting sh*t it's cold, I haven't seen my legs in three weeks, sh*t it's cold...... 該死的很冷!嘩,噉凜,啊!"

Meanwhile, the polar bears keep circling, circling, circling.

I couldn't do it. I bellyache when it's brisk here in San Francisco. And this is the time of year when I think of greasing myself up with bear fat and hibernating.


My friend harvests gravel and sand for the concrete industry. It grows there


The Chinese restaurant has been there for over two decades. The children of the family never knew a normal life. No offense to Scandinavians, but the only thing that makes life bearable there is when the gravel and sand are ripening, gloriously golden in the late Autumn sun before ten months of winter and darkness. Soon the fishing fleet will return with a fresh catch of salted blubber, and the town will reek of fish oil and seaweed again.

The most characteristic flavours of food in Norway are kjøtt, sauce Espagnole (brown stock, mirepoix, tomato paste, and roux), and a salted smoked sheepshead. Plus various compôtes made from offal. Mayonnaise is not significant; that's Denmark.

Plus rakfisk, lutefisk, and spekesild; their versions of canned tuna.


Central heating is an important industry in Norway.
Except for people who walk around naked.
As some of them constantly do.


It sounds like an impossibly exotic place.
One of these days I must visit.


I have no idea what they do with all that salted blubber.

Maybe they collect it. Like art.



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