Tuesday, January 17, 2017

HOBBIT'S WEED

For the benefit of the curious, here is the recipe for the popular mixture invented by Tewksbury in Denver: Hobbit's Weed. It consists of two parts BCA, one part Lane's Very Cherry, and one part Sutliff 1M. Both the first and the last of those components are Vanilla tobaccos.

50% - 25% - 25%

I have not confirmed with them that this is accurate, but this recipe has been circulated on the net by reputable sources.


BCA is standard black Cavendish heavily aromaticised with vanilla. The tobacco used is a Green River Burley cooked to a fare-thee-well to darken it, flavouring and sweeteners are added during that process.

Very Cherry is a standard blending tobacco in many stores.
Virginia, Burley and Black Cavendish.

Sutliff 1M is plain Burley, Virginia, and Black Cavendish souped up with vanilla (BCA), and not too unlike 1Q, which is also something that most tobacconists carry, although like the other concoctions it frequently is called by a fanciful name of their own invention.


A duplicate of HW is available from Four Noggins.



SOME PERSONAL THOUGHTS

Why you would want to smoke this is any one's guess, seeing as Burley whored-up with cake essence is nauseating -- although I've smoked all the components, strictly out of perverse professional curiosity, and they're not really "bad" bad -- and there is no evidence that Hobbits even knew of vanilla (or tobacco - where on earth did they get it from?), Gandalf the Grey quite probably enjoyed a dark flake or Virginia & Perique mixtures, and Tolkien himself was a Capstan man, with occasional jaunts into Gold Block and Erinmore (which is a decent product underneath the bizarre topping).

Do you own a churchwarden, you frightful pervert?

Fancy yourself a "Middle Earthian"?

Have tattoos?



Probably well-over eighty percent of all pipe tobacco sold in the United States is aromatic, BCA shows up in many house blends, and most people have no taste whatsoever. But they are an important demographic that no tobacconist can afford to ignore (I do not blame Tewksbury, he kept them happy). It's been that way ever since the seventies, when pipe-smoking was cool, and many syphilitics and sadistic closet republicans discovered that despite their body odour and personal flaws, brainless blonde trollops with just enough pudge would flock to them and drool over their manliness.
If they smoked a pipe stuffed with shitty tobacco.
Heffner, Sinatra, Josef Stalin.
Pol Pot.


You guys are all monsters.

Good luck, hobbits.

Avoid orcs.


PS.: At this very moment I am enjoying a bowl of Robert McConnell Matured Virginia Folded Flake. In a normal briar. It's very nice.
It is not for you.



TOBACCO INDEX


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3 comments:

Unknown said...

Thanks for this, I have some screwballs who really want it. I, myself, will enjoy a bowl of Newminster 400 Navy Flake.

The back of the hill said...

Newminster Navy Flake is good stuff. How do you feel about Orlik Golden Sliced or Dunhill?

Sheldon Richman said...

Thanks. I've been curious about the blend, but I don't do aromatics. You might have cured me.

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