HELLO DEATH METAL PANDA: AGGRESSIVE RETSUKO IS THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE
I know I can identify with her; it's almost as if she's my spirit animal. Despite the fact that I do not work in an office. Don't binge drink.
And do not scream-roar plangent death metal lyrics.
Heck, I've hardly ever done karaoke.
Some individuals may remember when I sang "All My Exxes Live In Texas" with Dildo Bob, and others possibly recall the ghastly rendition of a ballad by Teresa Teng I did once or twice.
They need to drink more.
I drink sparingly, unlike most Caucasians, and I actually rather like my job. Today I spent several hours in a smoke-filled environment listening to pudgy middle-aged specimens screaming over football, but I was far enough away from them that I could hear myself think. The only time I came closer was when I asked Jeff about the raw sewage cascading over the concrete floors of his office.
"Yeah no I'm on the fourth floor, but down there they were putting plastic shopping bags around their feet."
To the best of my knowledge no raw sewage has ever swirled over my docksiders. I would have known. Details, you know. Still, I and everybody else can thoroughly sympathize with Aggressive Retsuko, and see her as a Hello Kitty-esque icon for modern adults such as ourselves.
Male or female, es macht kein diefferenz.
As far as the death metal is concerned, that's in Japanese, so it is probably not quite what you can do either. But it's never too late to learn.
Probably the best Sanrio character ever. Edgy. Angry. Office worker. Female. In other words, possessed of a non-threatening even cute exterior, but a seething cauldron inside. Meek, mild, playful, yet justifiably filled with a burning rage that might just boil over at any moment, incendiarizing the nimnos and twizzle-heads around her, and take it all down, baby, till yer dead and burnt to crispy ashes, oh yeah.
When my Hello Kitty backpack in which I stash pipes when commuting wears out, I will replace it with an Aggretsuko item of similar dimensions.
Hello, little Death Metal Panda; we are ready for your merchandise!
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