BAD ADULT WITH A BLANKY

What the Republicans in congress have been doing in the past week alone should convince almost anyone that yes, Americans need guns, and they should aim those guns at Republican politicians. But I expect we won't.
Not because the bastards don't deserve to die in a hail of bullets, but because we still believe that our democracy works.

Plus planning to massacre the Republican trash currently in power requires too much effort and attention -- heck, we'd have to be alert, mobile, and not eating delivery pizza -- and we're presently addicted to yuge, bigly, and golden showers.
Eh, bugger it all, what's on telly?


Personally I am resolved to sneer for four years.
It's what I do best.


I am not a constructive team player.


And you might as well admit that you aren't either. You are not vested in the greatest possible benefit for the greatest number of people, you don't even really care for the folks one town over, or two blocks away. Because you realize that despite the rich and corrupt taking over and gutting the country (insert long list of Republican names right here), all you really want to do is either drink cocktails made with designer vodka, OR lie in bed and get nice and toasty warm.

[Actually, designer vodka is SO last year. The hot new booze trend is artisanal rye whiskey matured in carefully curated fruitwood barrels. Just the right amount of char, and reflective of natural goodness. Fiery, but alluring. Rounded, with the slightest bite. This is a thing.]

I can understand that.

You are not alone.


Excluding the designer vodka bevvies, I am right there beside you.
In a very clean and not creepy uncle kind of way.

Scoot over.




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