ROAST MEAT MAY BE A FEMININE THING
So that the video of his demise goes viral.
No, I shall not mention who that is. Don't want to alert him to the fact that an elephant is suspended above his head.
CHARSIU: A METAPHOR FOR ... CHARSIU
On the other hand, at my age I have come to realize that I am not fit company for a number of people, and thank heavens for that.
I shall not seek out their friendship.
Not that I did so anyway.
On a post for which I shall not provide the link, a reader commented two years ago "So, have you found your nice greasy juicy lump of feminine charsiu yet? It's been what, about five years?"
Which, coupled with the recent question whether my universe was 'still charsiu centered' -- likewise with a love or lust connotation -- suggested that I may have mentioned charsiu overmuch.
I do indeed adore charsiu.
But not only charsiu.
All siu mei.
Siu mei is the category of roasted savoury meats that you find hanging from hooks in the windows of some Chinatown restaurants. Marvelous stuff like roast duck (燒鴨 'siu ngaap'), white poached chicken (白切雞 'paak chit kai'), and roast pork (燒肉 'siu yiuk'). It's not just charsiu (叉燒), that's only one type.
There's also soy sauce chicken (豉油雞 'si yau kai') and roast goose (燒鵝 'siu ngoh'). Though that last is somewhat rarer. All of these are great as the main dish, but also used in numerous other preparations, such as soups, stews, hutchepots, and great greasy combinations.
They are one of the main reasons why you should always live close to a Chinatown, and why folks go schizo-paranoid when they don't.
Just look at the rest of the country.
They are quite insane there.
No good eats.
Sorry, I got quite distracted by siu mei. There's also steamed fish (蒸魚 'jing yü'), stirfried soft-shell clams (炒大頭 'chaau daai tau'), and plenty of delicious vegetable dishes. Grilled pork rice noodle soup (燒猪肉河粉湯 'siu chü yiuk ho fan tong') stir-fried pork and snow fungus (炒肉絲銀耳 'chaau yiuk si ngan yi'), garlic chives dumplings (韭菜豬肉水餃 'gau choi chü yiuk seui gaau'), shrimp sauce Chinese orchid-mustard (蝦醬芥蘭 'haa jeung gaai laan'), and pig trotters flavoured with fermented tofu (南乳豬手 'naam yü chü sau'). And a stupendous favourite: ground pork patty steamed with ginger and salt fish (咸魚蒸肉餅 'haahm yü jing yiuk beng').
You can't get most of these elsewhere either.
[Soft-shelled clams, also called 'long necks' or 'piss clams', are an invasive species on the West Coast, much like immigrants from the Atlantic states, where they are native. To prepare them for the pot, place them in a bucket of salt water for several hours, so that they expell the sand and grotty things they have ingested. One part salt, twelve parts water. They can also be steamed, like we Dutch do with fresh mussels, but stirfrying them combines the broth they will exude with the garlic, ginger, rice wine, and scallion, for a lovely sauce.]
Do you feel hungry now? Good!
"Have you found your nice greasy juicy lump of feminine charsiu yet?"
Boy willikers, does that ever sound nice!
One can discuss love, lust, and sex, using food metaphors, or cuisine with over the top romantic terms. Dining with a member of the opposite gender, provided she loves to eat and is culinarily open-minded, is a splendid fantasy. One should have an abiding feastly passion.
If she were a vegan gluten-phobe, the metaphors would be crypt-related, graveyards, and a bleak wasteland.
No, I have not found my nice greasy juicy lump of feminine charsiu yet. And if I do, she probably won't exactly appreciate being likened to a steaming lump of pork, but she will probably love to eat it.
Among many other things.
I think the jury is still out on the gender of charsiu.
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