ALL THE PERVERTS AND ME

Thanks to the intrepid Dutch press (De Telegraaf) I now know that my fellow Dutchmen (randy perverts, mostly) are intrigued by lesbians and teens, whereas our more staid southern neighbors the Belgians favour stepmothers and stepsisters, though not in the same scene. This was clarified by the 2016 search statistics published by Pornhub.
Which is an endlessly fascinating document.
First time on my radar.

Let me clarify at this point that I never search the internet for smut, and obsessively watch sports on television. Oh, those rounded football bottoms, men in tight spandex, the sheer excitement of watching pigskin fly!

And those beer commercials!

Zesty!


HIGHLIGHTS:

Icelanders watch more porn than Canadians.
Belgians are very similar to Americans.
Most visits are around 9 minutes.
Lesbians, MILFs, moms.
Cell phones.

Please note that Mississippians watch far more than Oregonians. Either because of slow synapses or rain, would be my guess.
But this is not a hard science.

From eleven to midnight are peak traffic times.
When many people are drunk and alone.

Pornsurfers in India put the word 'Indian' in almost all their searches, and like teenage lesbians. Perhaps these are bhainchoot fantasies, but I dare not speculate. The Japanese naturally prefer 'Japanese', and 'amateur'.

The French are a bunch of right degenerates: anal.
All I can say is I am shocked. Shocked.
They are just like the Germans.
But unlike the Brits.

Russians, Spaniards, and Brazilians, are all sick.


What is monumentally frightful is that Kim Kardashian is a favourite subject. Truly my fellow human beings are horrifying. Quite. What on earth is wrong with you people?!? You are all insane! You disgust me!


Most people who watch smut are young.
Alas, this makes me feel old.



AFTER WORD

This post was written courtesy of the link provided by De Telegraaf newspaper, which understood that serious readers wished to research these matters, and news mavens would need substantiation.
Especially for that claim about the Belgians.
Who are mighty queer.

What I search the internet for is food, kitten pictures, linguistic terms, and tobacco-related material. Plus pretty pictures of Totoro or Hello Kitty.
And sometimes articles in Chinese or Dutch.
I visit Wikipedia and Snopes a lot.
And various news sites.
I am restrained.

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