WHITE PEOPLE BURRITO

A carnitas burrito is NOT supposed to be a spiritual experience. But in Marin, it is. Spiritual. Meaningful. Karmically positive. Reflecting a connection with and love for Mother Earth who nurtures all of us irrespective of gender, and simply wishes that we would recycle and hug dolphins in return. Everyday is quinoa appreciation day!

What I'm indicating here is that new age hippies should not cook Mexican food. Their auras are too pure and saintly.

As a graffiti in Chinatown puts it: "No salt, no sugar, no MSG - no tasty".

Stick to tofu and kale scramble, waspy dudes.

It's what you do best.

Basically, I vastly prefer the carnitas from that other place, the one staffed only by people who speak non-English, which alas is closed on Sunday. The place which isn't closed on Sunday just doesn't know beans about carnitas. I mean, it wasn't bad, at least not bad bad, but it was on the borderline of being not good. It reeked of waspliness.

So much waspy it dripped it.

In precisely the same way that I like my Chinese food to be cooked by people who speak Cantonese, or I'll cook it myself, I think I prefer my burrito to be prepared by people who natively speak non-English and who have never even heard of crystal healing.

Instead of salt, sugar, spices, salsa, the right amount of pork grease, maybe even chopped tomatoes, and meat juices, plus any flavouring for the rice, it oozed sincerity.
They may not have ever heard of chilies either.


But I'm sure the tortilla was ethically sourced.
Kudos, meaningful white people.
Thank you for trying.
Sincerely.



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