Monday, September 26, 2022

LOVELY ACCENTS

Phone call: "Hello? My name is Alex, calling from American Senior Insurance, how are you doing today?" Answer: "I'm doing splendid, Alex, I shall not answer any personal questions, nor will I compare any insurance rates." He hung up. Making Spam calls from Allahabad is expensive if they aren't going to produce workable data.

Remarkably, the same situation resulted when Sarah from Senior Medical Benefits in Cebu or Makati tried to go over some things with me.


I am a consistent man.


Just because my name and phone number have appeared on your miraculously tailored list does not mean that I will give you any more time than the streetcorner loonies I occasionally encounter when out in public here in San Francisco. Calling me is making eye contact, in a way, and unless you are a charming woman with obvious intelligence and a curious sense of humour, or a crusty old fart who is well read and has truly interesting questions, and the evidence in BOTH cases (young lady, elderly fossil) indicates that you are sane and have recently (sometime in the last twenty four hours, more or less) bathed and changed your clothes, the response you are likely to get from trying to strike up a conversation will approximate "NO". Fishing calls do not qualify.
If out of the blue you said "that smell reminds me of my favourite Latin (or geology, algebra, mediaeval Netherlandish / Anglo Saxon) tutor in college, what tobacco are you smoking?", my answer would very likely be longer, and given in a more friendly tone.

How I deal with beginning conversational gambits depends, very much, on circumstances. Claims that you are calling from "The American Health Department" are, ab initio, going to result in "NO", or something similar.

NO.

But do please keep trying. I've made a lot of telephone calls myself, for legitimate reasons because the companies for whom I worked had established mercantile relations with other companies, and I know how little moral support you get for your daily grind.
I am a warm and caring individual. I nourish you.



The world revolves around your oyster.



Over fifteen Spam Indians called so far this morning.
I'm barely on my second cup of coffee.
Only one Filippina.



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