Tuesday, February 22, 2022

HARDENED SOUL BRAVES BLIZZARD CONDITIONS

Whenever I see white people walking around in busy areas without masks, I fight the urge to say "hey man, talk some Mississippi for me". Because, naturally, I automatically think they're from a red state where stupidity is a virtue. More so in Chinatown than anywhere else. But of course not all of the tourists wandering around there are from the outback.
Some are from the suburbs or Europe.

Here's a helpful chart:
The top ten are the equivalent of France. In many ways.

Main difference is that they eat "freedom fries".
Twenty two states over a hundred.
Three under fifty.


It was beastly cold yesterday. For some reason I also saw people wearing shorts. They must have thought they were in California. Sorry, y'all, Baywatch took place seven hundred miles south of here, on a different planet, where everyone runs slo mo toward the breakers in glorious sunlight. For that kind of weather, head to Tampa. You. Will. Love. It. There.



One of the things that happens like clockwork on the internet forums is that some desperate Johnny in the Northeast or Minnesota writes: "How do you other pipesmokers even do it? It's freezing outside, the heater in the garage gave out, or my backporch got buried by a blizzard (helpfully includes photo), and the wife won't let me puff away inside! We just installed new carpet and she hates the smell of my tobacco!" And, like clockwork, the Californians on the forum respond with snark. Because we're unsympathetic and dislike those people.
Most helpful advice is to get a divorce and buy a shack.
Fishing hut out on the frozen lake.
When I got home from having tea across the hill and a pipe afterwards, it was 48 degrees.
It was a jaunty briar made by Comoy decades ago, in perfect condition.
One of the best smokes I've ever had.

Look here, cowboy, in San Francisco 48 degrees is arctic.
I know Maine and New Hampshire are "different".
We were working on our suntans.
Until yesterday.

There were hardened smokers dressed in Northface passed out on their lawns.
Stiff and rigid, and moaning "urk, urk, urk".
Poor frozen corpses.



TOBACCO INDEX


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