Tuesday, February 22, 2022

BUDWEISER, COORS, MICHELOB, AND HEINEKEN

All fratboys should drink beer. Being drunk and comatose makes them bearable. The ladies in the second floor apartment across the street like fratboys, and invite them over to partay.
I do not approve of them.

I used to like beer, until I came to this country, and discovered what my fellow Americans drank.
When we left the U.S. during my infancy I was not old enough to drink beer.
We went to a place where beer is better. Way better.
That's not why we went there.


BUDWEISER, COORS, MICHELOB, AND HEINEKEN

And that explains why I wish there were places serving cups of tea that are open late at night. According to an idiot American politician in the seventies, Americans living overseas were all mink-swathed parasites dodging taxes. The tea overseas is better too.
He was probably some yutz driving the tractor all over the north forty while chewing baccy and spitting, and assuredly a Republican who swilled crappy American beer.

If he ain't dead yet, he'll probably croak of Covid. Soon.

That type goes to church, disbelieves science, votes for Nazis, and swills beer.
Vaccines have a microchip, masks are Satanic infringements.
Critical Race Theory is a commie plot.
Dang Yankee liberals!

If they've figured out the remote control, they watch Fox. If not, the set is still tuned to the same channel that broadcast Lawrence Welk in the seventies and shows fundamentalist preachers afterwards. Interrupted by commercials for sh*tty American beer.

Wouldn't you rather have nice clean cut college boys hepped on tea roistering about late at night in your neighborhood than fratboys and fox viewers who've had too much beer?
At least they won't puke in your doorway.
Or hijack the tractor.


Well, they might hijack the tractor. Youthful hijinks and all that.
All over the British Isles there are tractors on the roads at three in the morning, Oxford and Cambridge men looking for a place that will serve them tea and scones. They're a threat to the American tourists quietly puking outside the pub from too much real beer. It's sad.
I think I'll write a strongly worded letter to the editor about that.


We'll never get rid of Covid. All over the third world there will be pockets where it festers and thrives for decades to come. West Virginia, Wyoming, Tennessee, Missouri, Florida, Mississippi, Arkansas, Idaho, Montana, Oklahoma ...



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