Immediately after a hilarious video about Vegans (Nicole Arbour), I read an article about a leopard seal trying to teach a human how to eat penguins. Which naturally restored my faith in carnivores.
Of which I am one.
I would have tried to eat the penguin.
You do NOT want a large nurturing animal to feel depressed because you are too stupid to eat penguins.
Except for weird molds, lard-free bean dip, and lentil patties cooked by pasty white people, everything Vegan can be improved by the addition of bacon or cheese. Sometimes both.
Apparently penguin tastes like tinned cat food mixed with a soupçon of cod liver oil. And either veal chops or herring. You can see where the addition of bacon and cheddar would nicely round that out, can't you?
Especially with some pickled Jalapeños.
And tarragon cream-sauce.
I don't know about you, but I'm thinking Sunday Dinner right now. The all-American family tradition: roast bird, potatoes, a bottle of ketchup, and a medicated elderly relative waffling something about Jesus.
I eat meat at least ten times a week.
But I refuse to eat Vegan.
Too alkaline.
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