This man has never understood why anyone likes broccoli, which is, very arguably, the world's most repulsive vegetable. It suggests a weakness in the head, as well as a lack of taste. Not major flaws in most folks, but it does make one doubt the individual.
I doubt my apartment mate. Inexplicably, she likes it.
Just a peculiarity. One of very few.
When I came home the apartment reeked of it. She's cooking enough for her boyfriend to eat broccoli for an entire week. And little else. He's a man of limited tastes and picky to boot, and I've heard he can't cook.
His wheelchair has nothing to do with it.
He's just very very white.
My apartment mate and I seem to have a cultural role reversal going on as regards cooking. She's Chinese, but cooks white style -- please see the aforementioned nasty vegetable -- whereas I am rather white (there's a Native American somewhere in the family woodpile on both sides, several generations ago) but tend toward southern Chinese cuisine and ingredients, Indonesian dishes, Filipino food, and the occasional Indian, Pakistani, Vietnamese, or Thai specialty.
Sometimes, rarely, something Dutch, French, or Eastern European.
None of this is part of mainstream white cooking.
Foreign muck, basically.
I am extremely fond of Foreign Muck.
I could eat it every day.
I do.
HRÆÐILEGT SPERGIKÁL TO YOU, SIR!
She's also cooking Cauliflower at present, which is quite edible. Unlike broccoli. You probably never realized this, but broccoli is actually a race of space aliens who cleverly disguised themselves as harmless tree-like green things, and go rigid whenever they see a human. They came to take over our planet, but unfortunately for them, human beings eat almost anything. That's why they have never reached critical mass, despite proliferating like the pests that, as a food-related substance, they are.
All of you stupid people keep eating them!
They will never win.
Maybe you folks are useful after all.
Despite your horrid natures.
Evenso, I, for one, would welcome our alien overlords. If all of you stopped cooking them. You are all heartless!
Broccoli is a karmic laxative.
UPDATE AS OF 9:10 PM
At present I am waiting for her to get out of the kitchen so that I can prepare some kryddaður geitakjöt koftur með blandaða grænmeti hrísgrjónum for dinner. What the rest of you should know as mishrit sabji pullao aur masaledara bakrigosht ke kufta. It will get the stench out.
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When I woke up on Tuesday the fog was thick enough to cut it with a knife. Much much later it had disappeared. My late lunch in Chinatown wa...
2 comments:
vile weed
He has my complete sympathy, commiseration, solidarity, and sense of sharing the pain.
The kitchen now smells of lamb meatballs, but the rest of the apartment is putrid.
I shall smoke and ventilate without cessation tomorrow.
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