NEVER SAY PUTRID SHOES IN CANTONESE!

The problem with almost any blog is that because a wide range of words will eventually occur, internet searches tend to pick up an article which is not part of the blogger's main field of interest, and some readers will visit who may end up completely baffled by the site that they so randomly found.
In the case of Americans, their sub-standard literacy confounds them.
For foreigners, the lack of an attuned sense of humour.
Confusion, literalness, and density.

"But what is the meaning of this blog?!?"

Sometimes life and blogs have no meaning. If I fixate one day on the Norwegian Blue, kipping on it's back after a prolonged squawk, perhaps the next day I might wax wroth at the idiocy of political support for Trump among the methamphetamine parkers. Yes, if you were looking for sex or kitten pictures, you may end up here, but by the same token there will be mention of architectural drafting and ancient Egyptian underwear.


There is no unifying theme to the following top searches:

Balkan Sobranie
Imperial tobacco
Maria Cordero song prison on fire lyric
Yuki no shingun lyrics
How to offend a rabbit

That last one brings up a post about noodles and the Caffe Trieste. After leaving Berkeley, the Caffe Trieste became my hang-out for a number of years, when I lived in North Beach. A man must have caffeine.

I seldom go there nowadays, because a large number of the regulars are not safely based in objective reality but have excellent albeit spotty memories, and will re-start conversations I fled from years ago.

One notorious psychopath among the Trieste crowd, who makes his living as a barber, tries to speak Cantonese with me. The problem there is that A) he's nuts; and B) you just cannot use the same five or six phrases over and over again, especially when your pronunciation is completely unintelligible and you don't know what they mean.

搞錯呀！
GAAU JO AH!

Constantly interjecting the expression 搞錯 ('gaau jo') into all of your conversations is NOT speaking meaningful Cantonese, but merely showing that you have nothing to contribute and are an irritating loony. As, indeed, all of your other mannerisms also suggest. Furthermore, stating that something is cocked up, if that is the only thing you can say, is quite pointless, not even a useful empty space filler. Uttering 搞乜鬼 ('gaau mat kwai') as a variation is hardly an improvement.

There are precisely THREE phrases in Cantonese that can be used any number of times. No more, no less. Not two. Not four.
Three. Only three.


唔該 
M KOI

This means 'please', 'thank you', 'excuse me hello', 'eh what?', and several other things. It is used when you want someone's attention for whatever reason or you need them to do something, as well as to express gratitude for them having done so. It is essential when ordering in a restaurant or shopping, as well as scooting past people who are blocking the aisle.


唔好意思 
M HOU YI SI

Excuse me, sorry, it was unintentional, if you would please permit me, there is no intent to insult here, kindly forgive the inconvenience ....
You can see where this phrase may be used in a number of ways, and almost cannot be over-used.


我嘅飛翼船畀鱔擠滿晒晒啦
NGO-GE FEI-YIK-SUEN PEI SIN JAI-MUN SAAI-SAAI LAA

My hovercraft is full of eels.




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