Monday, November 02, 2020


This morning, when I finally headed into the teevee room to enjoy a cup of coffee and read disturbing news items, I discovered that I was not alone. A presence was there.
One which no man should see. Haunting, and belicose.
The turkey vulture wearing MY bathrobe, sitting in MY rattan chair, holding MY wallet.

This bird (Sydney Fylbert) has NO sense of personal boundaries. Neither do any of the other small rambunctious fuzzballs, but he is the one "roomie" who in the past few months has pushed envelopes most often.

You will note, however, that a beak is not capable of clenching a pipe. So even if he was interested in the tray of smoking equipment not visible in this picture, he'd have no way of choosing a briar to light up and puff. My apartment mate is a non-smoker, and most of the beasts have no interest in pipes, tobacco, or the occasional pack of fags. If I ever end up dating someone, she and I will have to step outside frequently to enjoy our vices. When we return, the turkey vulture will have taken up 'ownership' of whatever we incautiously left lying about.
We'll learn to deal with it as best we can, as it happens, at that time.
It's still a hypothetical bridge to future, however.

I mention this because I am not averse to the concept of interpersonal relationships. Many people rewardingly have those, and there is evidence that they can be satisfactory.

Some pipe smokers have, since becoming involved with other actual humans, developed an affection for deserted wastelands, or discovered that a garage is a comfortable place to spend several hours. Just you, a heating element, a table, a carburator, and your pipe. One of my friends spends a lot of time outdoors with his cat at the end of the garden, where the local coyote looks hungrily at the feline. Another one left his winery and moved to Beiing.
There are coping mechanisms.

Yet another lives in New England, and teaches young people how to render schmaltz, gut fish, and skin and butcher Bambi. These are all good things.
A turkey vulture would apporve.
My apartment mate is at work, I'm enjoying a smoke in front of the computer with another cup of coffee, the turkey vulture is in her chair trying to break into her computer (still wearing my bathrobe), and the place will have aired out long before the other human returns.
All is well with the world.


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