Thursday, November 12, 2020


During the pandemic much of one's social life takes place on the internet. Which for many people has the direct benefit that no one can see you pick your nose.
The other direct advantage is: no body odour.
I am convinced that ninety percent of my Facebook friends smell like roses. Or lilacs. A few of them smell like Latakia tobacco or cigars, except for John O. who hates Latakia, and a fictitious teenage girl, a sock puppet I created a long time back to converse with people whose politics were loathesome. I mislaid the passwords to her accounts years ago -- she'd be in college now if she actually existed -- and many of those people still haven't wigged.

Thanks to the internet I've found out several things: John Voigt is completely bonkers. One or two of the people I know are out of their heads. An old friend passed away recently. My aunt in Canada is frustrated by current pandemic related constraints, she wants to get out and do things! Thailand is a hell hole to be avoided. The Great American Heartland is filled with assholes. Kenneth Copeland, Paula White, and Michelle Bachman need to be medicated, restrained, and ball-gagged. Newt Gingrich is so angry that he's constipated all the time now. And Mordechai in New York can't find Vanilla Coke or Vanilla Pepsi ANYWHERE!

Plus, Bawas can't live without eggs.

When this is all past us, we will have needed to reinvent ourselves. Things are changing, our village won't be the same as it was. There will be people whom we wished we had been more responsive to, or whom we really should have told how much we appreciated them. Places we relied on will be gone, there will be new people there whom we do not know.

We'll all be older and less likeable.

Look, what else can you say about a country where the king is a perverted supreme leader, the hotels take you to court for bad customer reviews, and the basis of the entire tourist industry is sexual exploitation of minors?

The Great American Heartland.
Mainly Christian, meaning there's a lot of racism and sexism there, plus bad beer and processed cheese.

Kenneth Copeland, Paula White, and Michelle Bachman.
Christians. The Great American Heartland in a nutshell.

Newt Gingrich.
Gives slime a bad name.

Vanilla Coke or Vanilla Pepsi.
Yeah man, I don't get it.

Bawa soulfood.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


Lady Ignatia J. Reilly said...

Canned or bottled Vanilla Coke is passable. A soda fountain vanilla Coke is a lovely thing, as is a soda fountain cherry Coke. Root beer floats are nice, as well.

As for how I smell, those times when I do decide to "clean up nice" as they say back home I opt for 4711 or Florida Water.

The back of the hill said...

Regarding 4711 and Florida Water: Both of those products have history, but remarkably I don't think I've ever smelled them. I would imagine slightly floral, slightly citrussy. Which of course leads one to think of Joy, a classical and famous flower perfume.

Lady Ignatia J. Reilly said...

Mostly citrus, with a bit of a floral dry down. I like that it's very light and refreshing. I put it on my handkerchiefs when I go out in summer.

Lady Ignatia J. Reilly said...

I have to add that I am intrigued with Bella Freud's (great-granddaughter of Sigmund) latest perfume, Psychoanalysis, which was released in 2017. I have not smelled it myself - but reports are that the top notes are petitgrain and neroli, heart notes tobacco and tobacco blossom, and base note leather. Sadly it is ridiculously expensive.

And here I am with a quarter century smoking habit and yet have retained my keen sense of smell....tragic.

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